Small, imperceptible changes day by day lead to major changes over time. The key is to make a habit of the practices or activities you decide upon. And when you run into difficulties doing what you say you will do, try the STAR method (Stop, Think, Act, Review) to get back on track. It’s a simple and effective technique for managing impulses and making thoughtful decisions.
Title Photo by Matheus Bertelli
On Someday Isle
“We must all suffer one of two things, the pain of discipline or the pain of regret” ~ Jim Rohn
Imagine you live on an island. Brian Tracey calls it Someday Isle. You know, someday I’ll start my diet. Someday I’ll look for a better job. Someday I’ll start saving for retirement. Someday I’ll write my book. Someday I’ll take better care of myself. Someday I’ll be happy. Someday Isle. Someday Isle. Someday Isle.
Look around and you’ll see that there are lots of folks who live with you on Someday Isle. However, you know something many of them don’t know. You know that there is another island nearby. It’s Today Isle. You also know there is a bridge that links Someday Isle and Today Isle. Today Isle is where you do most of your working and playing and interacting in meaningful ways with your family, friends, and loved ones. All you have to do is cross the bridge from Someday Isle over to Today Isle. Most of the people who live on Someday Isle don’t even know the bridge is there.
Self-discipline in Action
Here’s the thing to keep in mind. You wake up on Someday Isle every morning. To get to Today Isle, where your goals and pursuits and your real life are taking place, you have to cross the bridge. You have to cross the bridge every day. Every day you have to cross the bridge. Every day. Cross the bridge. Cross the bridge. Every day.
What is the bridge to Today Isle? For some, it may be a time of daily meditation and prayer. Or it may be a daily exercise routine. For others, a time to read and reflect on scripture or other inspirational material. It may be planning out meals in order to eat healthful, nutritious food. Perhaps the bridge is planning daily activities to be sure to include tasks in pursuit of an important goal. But whatever gets you across the bridge, you need the discipline to consistently perform those actions.
What bridge do you need to cross each day to get to Today Isle? Here are some ideas to help you cross that bridge.
What Is Self-discipline
“Character simply stated is doing what you say you are going to do.” ~ Hyrum W. Smith
Discipline as we’re using the concept can be summed up in the acronym = DWYSYWD. Do what you say you will do. No ifs, no maybes, no excuses. You either do it or you don’t. And when (not “if”) you don’t DWYSYWD, you review and make a course correction.
Here are some (not all) of the ways you can practice discipline.
- You exert control over your feelings and actions.
- You refrain from acting on your impulses and emotions.
- You are disciplined in practicing a skill or fulfilling tasks (i.e., you DWYSYWD).
- You obey the rules.
- You are adept at learning difficult new skills.
What Self-discipline Is Not
For many of us, discipline has a negative connotation. We associate discipline with punishment or deprivation. We think of self-discipline as making ourselves do something we don’t want to do. From this viewpoint, discipline is thought of as the opposite of “freedom”.
However, self-discipline is not a hindrance to freedom. True freedom means you have options. And discipline gives you options. “Never are you less free,” says Gary Ryan Blair, “than when you are held hostage by your excuses and lack of discipline. When discipline is lax, enslavement and mediocrity follow!” [Blair]
Improvement Through Self-discipline
“You must . . . begin to do what you can do where you are, and you must do ALL that you can do where you are.” ~ Wallace D. Wattles
To follow the path to self-actualization and the Excelerated Life™, you must start taking steps in that direction. As you nourish and nurture yourself and your abilities, you begin to unlock more and more of your potential. You must use your talents, skills, and abilities to improve. You can’t bury your abilities and expect to improve. And You have to start where you are.
You won’t make changes you want to make without using discipline to get into new habits of behavior. The good news is that you can increase your ability to select and perform the actions you must take to reach a new goal or objective. Do what you say you will do.
Select one small activity and perform it consistently until it becomes a habit. Then select another, then another. In this way, your self-discipline grows and you can consistently perform bigger acts of discipline. That is how you build the habit of discipline.
Jeff Olson calls them “simple daily disciplines” — small productive actions, repeated consistently over time, that add up to the difference between success and failure. [Olson]
Your actions and your behaviors may seem insignificant at the time. And observed in isolation, they mostly are. It is difficult for us to envision how our daily actions affect the outcome of our lives because of the amount of time that is necessary for the compound effect to show up. As Olson writes, “The reason people don’t do the little things that add up to success is that at first they don’t add up to success.” [Olson]
The fact is, what you do now matters, but you have to look into the future to see it. Just remember this: Success is a habit. And so is failure.
Self-discipline Using the STAR Method
The STAR method is a simple and effective technique for managing impulses and making thoughtful decisions. It stands for Stop, Think, Act, and Review. Here’s a breakdown of each step:
Stop: When you find yourself in a situation that requires self-discipline or self-control, the first step is to pause. Take a moment to halt any immediate reaction or impulse. This step is crucial because it allows you to gain control over your initial, often automatic, responses.
Think: After stopping, take a moment to consider the situation. Reflect on the consequences of your potential actions. Think about your goals, values, and the long-term impact of your decisions. This step involves evaluating your options and considering the best course of action.
Act: Once you’ve taken the time to think, it’s time to make a decision and act on it. Choose the action that aligns best with your goals and values. This step requires commitment and follow-through on the decision you’ve made.
Review: After you’ve acted, take some time to review the outcome. Reflect on what went well and what could have been done differently. This step is about learning from your experiences so that you can improve your self-discipline and decision-making skills in the future.
When you use the STAR method, you build mental discipline that leads to greater self-control.
The STAR Method in Practice
Suppose you want to maintain a healthy diet, but you’re tempted by a piece of cake at a party. Here’s how you might use the STAR method to help you deal with the temptation.
Stop: Instead of immediately reaching for the cake, you pause and take a deep breath.
Think: You think about your health goals and the effort you’ve put into eating healthier. You consider the consequences of eating the cake versus sticking to your plan.
Act: You decide to politely decline the cake and choose a healthier snack option that’s available.
Review: Later, you reflect on your decision. You feel proud of your self-control and recognize that it brought you one step closer to your health goals. You also think about how you might handle similar situations in the future.
This method helps in building self-discipline by encouraging mindfulness and deliberate action.
Improving Self-discipline with Actionable Steps
Try these steps to practice and build up your discipline.
- What is one thing you can change to improve your health, your happiness, or your relationships? What could you start doing? What could you stop doing? What could you do more of or less of? Select the one thing that could make the most difference.
- What is one step you could take to make the change you selected? Make it small enough to do every day.
- Take the step today, as soon as you can.
- Commit to taking the step every day. Schedule it in your calendar or do whatever you must to ensure you take the step consistently.
And when you run into difficulty doing what you say you will do, try the STAR method to get back on track.
The Two Easies.
Success is simple. Unfortunately, so is failure. Small simple daily disciplines, practiced consistently over time, lead to major improvements. Small simple failures in daily disciplines over time lead to major failures.
Those small actions are easy to do. They are also easy NOT to do. I call them the Two Easies. If you do them or don’t do them, you don’t receive much immediate feedback. But remember – steady wins the race. You aren’t in a sprint . . . you are in a marathon. Choose to do the small easy-to-do disciplines day by day. You won’t see much improvement in the short run, but one day, almost before you know it, you’ll realize you’ve made a major change and improvement.
Become a STAR of Self-discipline
“We first make our habits, and then our habits make us.” The good news is that you don’t have to decide to do or not to do your small simple daily disciplines every day. You’ll have to carefully manage your efforts for a few weeks or even a few months, but if you stick with it, eventually consistent action becomes a habit and you don’t have to think about it again.
So don’t concern yourself about how many times you have to cross the bridge until next Wednesday or until October or until next year. You can’t run back and forth across the bridge to “stock up” crossings for the future. Your job – your only job – is to cross the bridge today. Don’t think or worry about crossing it tomorrow, or next month, or next year. Simply cross it today. Small, imperceptible changes day by day, lead to major changes over time. The key is to make a habit of the practices or activities you decide upon. Just for today . . . cross the bridge. For that’s how you embrace your Excelerated Life™!
Are you facing a difficult time with any disciplines?
How could you use the STAR method to improve?
Share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.
Excelerated Discipline™ — doing what you say you will do — is one practice for creating your Excelerated Life™, a life of flourishing and well-being, and a life of meaning, purpose, and service.
Read more about the Excelerated Life™.
Resources:
Blair, Gary Ryan. Everything Counts! Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 2010.
Olson, Jeff. The Slight Edge. Austin, TX: Greenleaf Book Group Press, 2005-2013.
This blog post includes research information provided by ChatGPT, an AI language model developed by OpenAI. To learn more about ChatGPT and its capabilities, you can visit the OpenAI website.