Learn how to set BIG (Bold-Important-Gratifying) goals and let them help you grow, contribute, and live with purpose.
When “Good Enough” Isn’t Good Enough
Amanda(*) had a rewarding career where she felt she was making a contribution. She had a loving family. And she had a comfortable life. But she had begun to notice something subtle and unsettling.
She was hitting most of her goals, and on paper, everything looked good. But inside it felt flat. She had no energy. No excitement. No sense of moving forward. Just a quiet, nagging question: “Is this it? Is this what I really wanted”?
Maybe you’ve been there. You’ve worked hard. You’ve achieved things. And you’ve checked the boxes that once mattered deeply. And now? You’re wondering if you’re still growing or just going through the motions.
That’s where BIG goals come in.
The Excelerated Life™ Definition of BIG Goals
In BIG Goals, Caroline Adams Miller challenges the idea of small, safe, incremental goals. She makes a compelling case that truly fulfilling goals must stretch us in meaningful ways.
In the Excelerated Life™, we translate that into something simple and powerful: BIG Goals. Bold – Important – Gratifying. They’re not meant to impress others. They are not trendy. And they do not come from what we think we “should do.” But they are deeply aligned with who you are and who you are becoming.
Let’s take a closer look.
What BIG Really Means
Bold (for You)
Bold doesn’t mean extreme. It means stretching beyond your current comfort zone.
For one person, bold might be running a marathon. For another, it might be initiating a difficult conversation.
The question isn’t, “Is this impressive?” It’s, “Does this stretch me?”
If it doesn’t make you a little uncomfortable, it’s probably not bold enough.
Important (for You)
This is where some people get off track. They chase goals that are:
- Impressive to others
- Expected by culture
- Inherited from earlier versions of themselves
But not truly meaningful anymore.
An Important goal is connected to your Valid Values. It reflects:
- What you care about now
- What matters in this season
- What aligns with your purpose
If a goal doesn’t matter to you at a deep level, you won’t stay with it when things get hard.
And things will get hard.
Gratifying (for You)
This one is often overlooked. And it’s the secret ingredient.
A Gratifying goal gives you:
- Energy while pursuing it
- A sense of aliveness
- Meaning in the process, not just the outcome
This doesn’t mean it’s always easy or fun. It does mean it feels worth it. You’re not just chasing a result, you’re engaging in something that feeds your spirit.
Learning Goals vs. Performance Goals
One of the most valuable ideas from BIG Goals is the distinction between two types of goals:
Learning Goals and Performance Goals.
Most of us focus almost entirely on performance goals. And that’s a mistake.
Learning Goals
A learning goal focuses on who you are becoming. It answers the question: “What do I need to learn or develop to grow?”
Examples:
- Improve my ability to listen deeply
- Develop a consistent writing practice
- Learn how to manage my energy instead of just my time
- Build stronger, more intentional relationships
Learning goals build capacity. They are long-term. Foundational. Transformational.
Performance Goals
A performance goal focuses on what you achieve. It answers the question: “What result do I want to produce?”
Examples:
- Publish one blog post per week
- Teach a T’ai Chi Chih class
- Increase readership by 25%
- Complete a workbook draft
Performance goals are visible and measurable. They matter, but they are supported by learning goals.
The Key Insight
Here’s an idea to keep in mind: You don’t rise to your performance goals. You rise to your learning goals.
If you want better results, you don’t just set better targets. You become better.
Setting Your BIG Learning Goal
So, let’s get practical. Start here — not with outcomes, but with growth.
Ask yourself:
- Where am I feeling stuck?
- Where do I want to grow?
- What skill, mindset, or habit would most move the needle?
Now apply the BIG filter:
- Bold: Does this stretch me?
- Important: Does this matter to me now?
- Gratifying: Will this energize me?
Example – A BIG Learning Goal
“Develop the habit of focused, distraction-free work for 60 minutes each day.”
How it works:
- Bold: Requires breaking old habits
- Important: Directly impacts productivity and purpose
- Gratifying: Creates a sense of progress and control
Setting Your BIG Performance Goal
Now layer in the outcome. Your performance goal should be:
- Clear
- Measurable
- Connected to your learning goal
Example – A BIG Performance Goal
“Write and publish one meaningful blog post each week for the next 12 weeks.”
Notice the connection:
Learning Goal → build focus and consistency
Performance Goal → produce meaningful content regularly
See how they reinforce each other?
Bringing It All Together
Amanda realized she wanted to contribute more in ways that were meaningful to her, but she wasn’t sure how. Let’s examine the steps she took to begin that journey.
Step 1: Identify the Desire
Amanda decided, “I want to make a meaningful difference.”
That’s a good start I told her, but it’s too vague.
Step 2: Define a BIG Learning Goal
Amanda considered what making a meaningful difference might mean for her. She decided on: “Learn how to express my ideas clearly and consistently through writing.”
- Bold: Requires vulnerability and discipline
- Important: Aligns with her desire to contribute
- Gratifying: Creates meaning and engagement
Step 3: Define a BIG Performance Goal
To push herself a bit, Amanda decided, “I’ll publish one article per week for 8 weeks.”
Now she’s moving.
Step 4: Take Action
Amanda developed a plan she was pretty sure she could stick with:
- Block writing time
- Start small
- Accept imperfect drafts
- Stay consistent
Step 5: Experience the Shift
After a few weeks, Amanda noticed these changes within herself:
- Her confidence had increased.
- She experienced improved clarity.
- She was building momentum.
And here’s the real clincher – it wasn’t just Amanda’s output that improved. Amanda changed.
How to Start (Without Overthinking It)
Let’s keep this simple. You don’t need a five-year plan. You need a next step.
Step 1: Choose One Area
Pick one:
- Health
- Relationships
- Contribution
- Personal growth
Don’t try to fix your entire life in one afternoon. That’s a great way to do nothing.
Step 2: Set One BIG Learning Goal
Ask:
“What do I need to learn or become in this area?”
Write it down.
Keep it clear and focused.
Step 3: Set One BIG Performance Goal
Now define a measurable outcome that supports your learning.
Make it:
- Specific
- Realistic
- Stretching (a bit)
Step 4: Take One Small Step Today
Not tomorrow. Today.
- Write one paragraph
- Take one walk
- Have one conversation
- Clear one space
Small actions build BIG momentum.
Step 5: Stay With It
This is where most people fall off. Not because the goal is wrong. But because:
- Progress is slower than expected
- Discomfort shows up
- Old habits push back
Stay anyway. Consistency beats intensity. Every time.
The Excelerated Life™ Perspective
BIG goals fit perfectly within the Excelerated Life™ framework.
They align with:
- Excelerated Values™ → ensuring goals are Important
- Excelerated Focus™ → directing energy toward what matters
- Excelerated Habits™ → supporting consistent action
- Excelerated Contribution™ → creating meaningful impact
Having BIG goals doesn’t mean doing more. They’re a way to do what matters. Better.
Don’t Set Smaller Goals — Set Better Ones
So, here’s the truth: You don’t need more goals. You need better ones. You want goals that:
- Stretch you
- Matter to you
- Energize you
Because every life gets spent somewhere.
The question is: Are you spending yours on things that are Bold, Important, and Gratifying?
Or just . . . comfortable?
Moving into Action
Take five minutes, right now, and write down:
- One BIG Learning Goal
What do you need to become? - One BIG Performance Goal
What will you do or produce? - One Small Step Today
What’s the first move?
Don’t overthink it. Don’t wait for clarity. Remember this: Action creates clarity.
And that’s you, embracing your Excelerated Life™!
ihich part of BIG—Bold, Important, or Gratifying—do you most need to strengthen right now?
If you were to set one BIG goal for this season of life, what would it be?
Share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.
Excelerated Goal Setting™ — planning and achieving BIG (Bold, Important, Gratifying) goals — is one practice for creating your Excelerated Life™, a life of flourishing and well-being, and a life of meaning, purpose, and service.
Read more about the Excelerated Life™.
Footnotes:
(*)Amanda is a blend of several former clients; the name and some details have been altered.
Resources:
Miller, MAPP, Caroline Adams. Big Goals. Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 2025.
This blog post includes research information and suggestions provided by ChatGPT, an AI language model developed by OpenAI. The content was generated with AI assistance and is intended to provide information and guidance. Please note that the suggestions are not official statements from OpenAI. To learn more about ChatGPT and its capabilities, you can visit the OpenAI website.