Acceptance is the practice of identifying struggles and accepting people, situations, and circumstances for what they are, not what you wish they were. True freedom and peace come from acknowledging what is, rather than fighting against it or wishing it were different. Acceptance is the key.
From Resistance to Release
Cynthia had built a strong reputation over her 30-year career. She was reliable, thoughtful, and known for mentoring younger colleagues. But after a company restructuring, she found herself reporting to a new manager, someone nearly twenty years her junior, who seemed disorganized, dismissive, and, in Cynthia’s view, completely unqualified for the role.
At first, Cynthia bristled. She replayed frustrating meetings in her head, vented to friends, and kept telling herself, “This shouldn’t be happening. I’ve earned better than this.” The more she resisted, the more drained she felt. Her motivation tanked. Her usual joy in mentoring disappeared. She began to dread going to work.
Then something shifted. In a quiet moment of reflection, Cynthia realized: the situation wasn’t going to change anytime soon. She had a choice. She could continue resisting and feeling resentful, or she could try another way.
So, she started practicing acceptance. Acceptance, not approval; she still had some legitimate concerns. But she stopped mentally arguing with reality. Instead, she focused on what she could control: showing up with integrity, setting boundaries respectfully, and doing work she was proud of.
Rather than battling her boss’s shortcomings, she accepted them and began to see them more compassionately. She stopped needing him to validate her experience. That alone was freeing.
Cynthia found peace not by changing her boss, but by changing how she related to the situation. Her energy returned. Her sense of purpose was restored. And in a twist she didn’t expect, her new attitude actually helped improve the working relationship.
It Starts With Acceptance
“Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation—some fact of my life—unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes.” ~ The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, Fourth Edition, Page 417 [Serenity]
The path of life is rarely straight and smooth; we are often faced with challenges and setbacks, “stumbling stones”, “necessary suffering”, “homesickness”, a “bright sadness” [Rohr], and other obstacles. Even when we adapt or change direction, we can still face unforeseen difficulties. If we struggle and fight against these circumstances, we spend time and energy – physical, mental, and emotional – that could be better utilized.
There is another way, a different path. Instead of struggling with reality, we can accept it, just as it is. “Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.” Acceptance is the key.
Acceptance is the practice of identifying struggles and accepting people, situations, and circumstances for what they are, not what you wish they were. “Acceptance is the key” highlights the power of embracing reality as it is, both external circumstances and internal experiences, without resistance or judgment. True freedom and peace come from acknowledging what is, rather than fighting against it or wishing it were different.
Resistance Creates Friction
When we resist reality, when we argue with what is, we create internal friction. It’s like trying to swim upstream against a powerful current: exhausting, frustrating, and ultimately futile. The river doesn’t care that you think it should be flowing the other way. It’s moving in its direction, whether you like it or not. This is what happens when we say things like:
- “This shouldn’t be happening.”
- “I can’t believe they did that.”
- “This isn’t fair.”
- “Why is this so hard?”
Now, it’s perfectly human to feel disappointment, grief, or frustration when life doesn’t go according to our plans. But staying stuck in resistance and demanding that reality be different than it is doesn’t solve anything. It only adds a second layer of pain on top of the challenge we’re already facing.
Psychologist Tara Brach calls this the second arrow. The first arrow is the pain of life (the loss, the setback, the diagnosis). The second arrow is the suffering we create by resisting or denying that pain, saying, in essence, “this shouldn’t be.”
When you resist, you tense up, mentally, emotionally, and physically. Your thoughts race, your shoulders tighten, and your energy drains away. You’re not solving the problem, you’re spinning in it. That’s the friction. And it’s not only exhausting. It’s unsustainable.
Why Acceptance Is Powerful
Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up; it means freeing yourself to focus on what you can control. It’s stepping into alignment with reality so that you can meet it with wisdom and clarity, not with clenched fists and closed eyes.
In her book, The Let Them Theory, Mel Robbins proposes a theory that centers on accepting what you can’t control. Instead of resisting or fighting people’s behaviors, you acknowledge: This is happening and I don’t have to fix it.
“Let them” becomes a real-time acceptance practice through a simple but powerful idea: when people behave in ways that annoy, frustrate, or disappoint you . . . let them. [Robbins]
Acceptance is like shifting from pushing against the current to learning how to steer your boat. It opens up choices, agency, and peace.
Why Acceptance Is the Key
Here’s why acceptance is considered so important:
It reduces suffering. Resisting or denying negative experiences like sadness, anger, or anxiety often amplifies those feelings. Accepting them allows you to process them without adding extra layers of stress or self-criticism.
Acceptance enhances emotional resilience. Accepting difficult emotions and situations builds your capacity to handle future challenges. You become better equipped to navigate life’s inevitable ups and downs without being overwhelmed by them.
It promotes peace and contentment. When you practice acceptance, you find peace in the present moment, rather than constantly striving to change things you cannot control.
Acceptance facilitates positive change. Acceptance is the crucial first step toward making positive changes in your life. When you acknowledge a problem or difficulty, you are in a better position to address it effectively.
It improves relationships. Accepting others for who they are, without judgment, fosters more authentic and harmonious connections.
The Acceptance Practice
In the Excelerated Life™ model, acceptance isn’t the same as resignation. It’s a way to reclaim your energy and free up the mental, emotional, and spiritual resources that are being drained by resistance. It’s the starting point for all positive change.
Read that sentence again: It’s the starting point for all positive change.
You can’t move forward until you’re standing on solid ground. And that solid ground is reality. Not how you wish things were, but how they are.
Once you stand there, you can take the next right step. And that’s when life begins to move again.
Consider these ideas from Mel Robbins. Rather than reacting, fixing, or controlling the situation or person, Robbins suggests you pause, observe, and let them be who they are. This approach promotes peace, emotional freedom, and self-responsibility.
- Release Control: Trying to control others (how they act, think, or respond) leads to frustration. True power lies in controlling your response, not the people around you.
- Radical Acceptance: Accept people as they are, not as you wish they would be. This allows you to see clearly and make decisions rooted in reality, not fantasy.
- Boundaries over Control: “Letting them” doesn’t mean tolerating bad behavior; it simply means not trying to change it. Instead, set healthy boundaries for yourself based on your values and needs.
- Focus on Your Path: Letting others be who they are gives you the freedom to focus on your goals, growth, and joy.
- “Let Them” Is a Mirror: Others’ actions often trigger something within us. Use the “let them” moment as a mirror for inner work: Why is this triggering me?
[Photo by Nataliya Vaitkevich]
Imagine This . . .
Imagine you received a diagnosis of a chronic health condition — not life-threatening, but life-changing. One that brings fatigue, discomfort, and unpredictability. The kind of condition that won’t go away with a round of treatment. It’s here to stay. And suddenly, everything changes.
At first, you resist. You push through. You tell yourself you’ll keep going like nothing’s different, powering through your commitments, ignoring the signals your body is sending. You might say things like “I don’t have time for this!”* or “This isn’t fair!” or “Why me?!?”. And every time the condition flares up, it feels like a betrayal. Like life isn’t cooperating.
But over time, that resistance wears you down. The friction drains your energy faster than the illness itself. You start to see that something has to give.
Then one day, after a particularly difficult week, you let yourself stop fighting. You take a breath. You stop demanding that reality be different than it is. And you choose to accept what’s true, not because you like it, but because it’s real. And in doing so, you begin to reclaim your power.
Now, you plan your days with more care. You learn to listen to your body instead of overriding it. You stop measuring your worth by your productivity and start paying attention to presence, purpose, and peace. And you discover, surprisingly, that there is still joy. Still meaning. Still a life worth living — maybe even more deeply than before.
You didn’t give up. You didn’t quit. You adjusted. And that’s the strength of Excelerated Acceptance™. It provides the ability to align with reality so you can live your life more fully.
Actions
Here are steps you can take to begin your practice of acceptance:
Step 1: Take an inventory of what you’re struggling with. Write it all down, relationships, unresolved issues, and anything draining your energy.
Step 2: Ask, “What would it look like to accept this as it is?”
Step 3: Develop a mindset of compassion (for yourself and others).
And if you want a quick dive into the Excelerated Acceptance™ practice, try the Excelerator JumpStart – Acceptance workbook. You can download your free copy here.
Aligning with Reality
Let’s be clear: acceptance doesn’t mean passivity. It doesn’t mean you approve of the situation or that you give up on change. It does mean you stop wasting energy fighting the fact that this is what’s happening right now. So, as you practice acceptance, keep this in mind:
Acceptance does not mean that you endure abusive behavior, social injustice, or harmful self-destructive patterns. It does mean you recognize the reality of the situation and then take action to protect yourself or to seek help.
Acceptance is not passive. You acknowledge the reality of what is, then you choose how to respond and what actions to take.
Acceptance is a process. It requires practice and patience. It is not a “one-and-done” event. It is something you do again and again.
“Acceptance is the key” emphasizes the power of acknowledging and embracing reality as it is, both internally and externally. It is a crucial step towards reducing suffering, building resilience, and fostering positive change in one’s life.
Acceptance is like shifting from pushing against the current to learning how to steer your boat. It opens up choice, agency, and peace. And it is one step in embracing your Excelerated Life™!
Please NOTE: I am neither a medical professional nor a licensed counselor. If you are struggling and simply cannot accept or move past a situation you are dealing with, I urge you to seek the assistance of a qualified professional.
What situations or people in your life are you resisting or wishing were different?
What would change for you if you accepted them as they are?
Share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.
Excelerated Acceptance™ – identifying and accepting the things you are struggling with — is one practice for creating your Excelerated Life™, a life of flourishing and well-being, and a life of meaning, purpose, and service.
Read more about the Excelerated Life™.
Resources:
Robbins, Mel. The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work, and Confidence With Everyday Courage. Nashville: Savio Republic, 2017.
Rohr, Richard. Falling Upward: A Spirituality For The Two Halves Of Life. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass, A Wiley Imprint, 2011.
Serenity. “Acceptance Is The Answer To All Of My Problems.” Toledo AA Meetings. Toledo AA Meetings, March 13, 2023. Web. June 28, 2025.
https://toledoaameetings.com/acceptance-is-the-answer-to-all-of-my-problems/
This blog post includes research information provided by ChatGPT, an AI language model developed by OpenAI. The content was generated with AI assistance and is intended to provide information and guidance. Please note that the suggestions are not official statements from OpenAI. To learn more about ChatGPT and its capabilities, you can visit the OpenAI website.