How Healthy Relationships Work - The Excelerated Life

This is how healthy relationships work: They require effort, understanding, and a willingness to navigate challenges with patience and empathy. And they thrive on mutual respect, open communication, trust, and a balance of independence and togetherness.

Title Photo by Vija Rindo Pratama

“The Clock Is Ticking”

“The theory of good money, bad money explains that the clock of building a fulfilling relationship is ticking from the start. If you don’t nurture and develop those relationships, they won’t be there to support you if you find yourself traversing some of the more challenging stretches of life, or as one of the most important sources of happiness in your life.” ~ Clayton M. Christensen

Have you ever wondered what makes some relationships thrive while others struggle? I know friends who have stayed in loving, supportive relationships for many years. I also have friends who started out with a seemingly strong relationship but eventually ended in divorce. And sadly, I’ve known people who suffer in a broken, unhealthy relationship and who don’t seem to know how to repair it and make it better.

The key to how healthy relationships work lies in building a strong foundation of mutual respect, honesty, trust, and open communication wherein both partners are comfortable in expressing their needs, setting boundaries and respecting each other, and working together to overcome challenges.

Let’s look at the key elements of a strong relationship, signs of a healthy partnership, and actionable steps we can take to improve the quality of our relationships.

The Foundation of a Healthy Relationship

“Investments in relationships with friends and family need to be made long, long before you’ll see any sign that they are paying off.” ~ Clayton M. Christensen

Just like a well-constructed house, strong relationships are built upon certain fundamental principles. These include:

Mutual Respect – This entails valuing the other person’s beliefs, opinions, and feelings. It means avoiding put-downs or belittling the other person, or attempting to control them in some way.

Open Communication – This works two ways. It means you can express your thoughts, feelings, and needs openly and honestly. It also means you actively listen – without judgment – to your partner when he or she expresses those same things.

Trust – You and your partner create a safe place where you can engage in open communication while believing in your partner’s loyalty and good intentions. This allows for vulnerability and security in the relationship.

Healthy Boundaries – You establish personal limits while respecting the boundaries and needs of your partner.

Compromise – Both of you show a willingness to hear the other person’s opinions and needs when there is disagreement, and work to find solutions that both people can accept.

A question for reflection: Which of these elements do you feel is strongest in your relationships? Which one could use improvement?

What Healthy Relationships Look Like in Practice

“The greatest marriages are built on teamwork. A mutual respect, a healthy dose of admiration, and a never-ending portion of love and grace.” ~ Fawn Weaver

These are some of the signs of a flourishing relationship:

Actively expressing appreciation and gratitude for your partner.
Feeling comfortable being yourself.
Supporting each other’s goals and aspirations.
Disagreeing respectfully without fear or resentment.
Feeling safe, secure, and valued.
Sharing laughter, fun, and meaningful experiences.

Now over to you: Think about a relationship in your life. Does it reflect these qualities? If not, what small changes could help?

Common Challenges and How to Overcome Them

“You can’t just give up on someone because the situation’s not ideal. Great relationships aren’t great because they have no problems. They’re great because both people care enough about the other person to find a way to make it work.” ~ Source Unknown

Of course, I think you’ll agree that even healthy relationships face obstacles. Those are inevitable. What matters is how they’re handled when (not if) they appear.

Here are some common struggles with suggestions as to how to address them. Let these spark your own ideas for ways to deal with the issues you find in your relationships.

Miscommunication: Practice active listening. Focus on what your partner is saying. Ask clarifying questions when necessary and repeat back what you’ve heard to ensure you understand.

Differences in needs or values: Acknowledge each other’s needs, discuss what’s important, and agree on a solution that respects both perspectives. Neither person has to give up their core values; instead, they adjust to create a balance that works for both.

External stressors (work, family, finances): Support one another – sometimes you may need to be the “strong” one, at other times you may need to lean on your partner. During difficult or stressful times, it’s even more important to set aside time to reconnect with each other.

Lack of appreciation: This is slow poison. Always, always express gratitude for your partner and what he or she brings to the relationship . . . and partnership.

Healthy relationships require effort, but small, consistent actions make a big difference.

Strengthening and Nurturing Your Relationships

“We are most alive when we are in love.” ~ John Updike

When you know how healthy relationships work, you can easily take steps to strengthen yours. Here are small steps you can take to build and maintain a thriving relationship.

Regularly check in with each other.
Express appreciation and affection often.
Make time for shared activities and fun.
Honor individuality while fostering connection.
Approach challenges as a team rather than as opponents.

And remember, healthy relationships don’t require perfection. They do need affection, care for each other, growth, and understanding.

Building and Maintaining Healthy Relationships

This is how healthy relationships work. They thrive on mutual respect, open communication, trust, and a balance of independence and togetherness. They require effort, understanding, and a willingness to navigate challenges with patience and empathy. By fostering clear communication, setting healthy boundaries, and appreciating each other’s individuality, partners can create a strong foundation for lasting connection.

To strengthen your relationships, consider these action steps:

Reflect on Your Relationship – Ask yourself: Do I feel respected, heard, and valued? Do I offer the same to my partner? Identifying areas of strength and areas for growth is a great first step.
Practice Open Communication – Make an effort to express your thoughts, feelings, and needs honestly while also actively listening to your partner.
Establish and Respect Boundaries – Discuss personal boundaries and ensure both of you feel comfortable and secure within the relationship.
Show Appreciation Regularly – Take time to express gratitude and acknowledge the positive things your partner brings to your life.
Handle Challenges with Compromise – When differences arise, find solutions that honor both individuals rather than forcing one person to sacrifice their needs entirely.

Healthy relationships are built, one day at a time, over a lifetime. Small, simple actions taken consistently add up to strong, loving relationships. What is one small step you can take today to strengthen a relationship in your life? That’s another step on the path to embracing your Excelerated Life™!

(Please NOTE: I am neither a licensed counselor nor a mental health professional. If you are facing serious relationship challenges or emotional distress, I encourage you to seek guidance from a qualified professional who can provide the support and resources you need.)

Think about one of your important relationships. How could you make it even stronger?
Share your comments by leaving a post below.

Developing Excelerated Relationships™ — nurturing ties to other people — is one practice for creating your Excelerated Life™, a life of flourishing and well-being, and a life of meaning, purpose, and service.

Resources:

Christensen, Clayton M. How Will You Measure Your Life? New York: HarperCollins Publishers Inc., 2012.

This blog post includes research information provided by ChatGPT, an AI language model developed by OpenAI. To learn more about ChatGPT and its capabilities, you can visit the OpenAI website.