The Excelerated Life™ is about making proactive choices every day that bring you closer to your authentic self. Knowing and acting from your values means you are living an authentic life. Defining your Valid Values and choosing actions based on them and not based on how you feel helps you start with a strong foundation of values.
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Living from Values . . . or Not?
Do you remember Goofus and Gallant from Highlights magazine? Given the same situation, Gallant always managed to do the right thing, while Goofus perennially goofed up and picked the wrong behavior. Today, let’s imagine Goofus and Gallant are all grown up. They have worked to identify what is important in their lives and want to build a strong foundation of values. How might and Gallant deal with these life/values situations?
- They are both Dads now and they promised their kids that they’d go to the park and then out for ice cream on Saturday. But then their golfing buddy calls them up on Friday afternoon. He’s secured a spot at that new course everyone has been raving about and he needs to make up a foursome. So, do they play golf or keep their promise to do something with their children?
What will Goofus do? What will Gallant do? What would you do?
- Both Goofus and Gallant have done well in business. They each have become quite successful by producing and selling a useful product that enjoys wide popularity. But at the Monday morning production meeting, the procurement manager announces that a key component is getting more expensive; in fact, its price is increasing by 50%. The procurement office has identified a replacement part that is cheaper but only because it is of a much lower quality and will last about half as long as the original part they’ve been using. So, do they cut corners to make a quick profit or continue to focus on providing an excellent product?
What will Goofus do? What will Gallant do? What would you do?
- Coincidentally, both men have recently read a book on “integrity” and the need to always be truthful if they are truly to live with integrity. Both realize they have sometimes shaded the truth, telling little white lies, or not saying what they really thought. They are determined to always tell the truth to the best of their ability. But then their wives come home with new dresses. The wives try them on and model them for their husbands. Then they ask The Question: “Does this dress make my butt look fat?” Do they tell a little white lie or tell the truth?
What will Goofus do? What will Gallant do? What would you do?
Some people live their lives without really thinking too much about their values. They haven’t taken the time to identify and choose the values they want to exhibit. But in living an Excelerated Life™, we consciously decide what we value and then do our best to live according to our chosen values. By doing this, we create a strong foundation of values upon which to fashion our Excelerated Life™!
Values Defined
We define values as core beliefs and principles that guide our behavior and decisions. The Cambridge Dictionary says that values are “the beliefs people have, especially about what is right and wrong and what is most important in life, that control their behavior” and “the principles that help you to decide what is right and wrong, and how to act in various situations”.
We all have values, whether we can name them or not. Thomas Leonard said that our values are like a theme for our lives. They are the foundation for the type of life we create if we know and honor them. It’s important to realize that values themselves are intrinsically neither “good” nor “bad”. However, some will serve you individually better than others.
“Don’t define yourself by your opinions because then you can’t change your mind. Define yourself by your values.” ~ Kevin Kelly
Why Values Are Important to Living Your Excelerated Life™
To live an Excelerated Life™, you first prepare a solid foundation. One of the first steps to building your foundation is “defining and living your Valid Values”. When you do this, you choose your values and then consciously take steps to live them.
Knowing and acting from your values means you are living an authentic life. Defining your Valid Values and choosing actions based on them — not based on how you feel — is embracing the Excelerated Life™!
“The ability to subordinate an impulse to a value is the essence of the proactive person,” writes Dr. Stephen Covey. “Reactive people are driven by feelings, by circumstances, by conditions, by their environment. Proactive people are driven by values — carefully thought about, selected and internalized values.” [Covey]
By starting with a strong foundation of values, you are becoming proactive. Reactive people act based on how they feel in the moment. Their identity comes from their behavior. It looks like this: Feelings > Actions > Identity.
However, Eric Greitens, former Navy SEAL and author, says if that’s how we approach life, we have those 3 words backward. Proactive people take them in the opposite direction: Identity > Actions > Feelings.
“You begin,” Eric writes, “by asking, ‘Who am I going to be?’ . . . So what’s next? Act that way. . . the way you act will shape the way you feel. . . If you want to feel differently, act differently.” [Greitens]
Of course, proactive people are influenced by their environment. But their response is based on their values, not their feelings. [Covey]
What Are Your Values?
If you’ve already begun creating your Excelerated Life™, you have likely identified your Valid Values and are doing your best to live by them day by day. Go, You! But for those of us who could use a little push to get started, here are some steps to try.
First, identify them. Here are a couple of tools that can help.
The Valid Values Excelerator is an extensive exercise that leads you through the steps of identifying your values, gradually narrowing the selection until you have your top five or six – your Valid Values. Then you look at where you are expressing these values in your life and where you may not be expressing them and the results this is having for you.
The Excelerator JumpStart – Valid Values contains steps you can take right now to begin defining and living out your Valid Values. These are short, quick actions intended to give you a jump start for this step in creating your Excelerated Life™.
Next, prioritize them.
This is an often overlooked step but is valuable when (not if) your values conflict in a particular situation. Remember the first example with Goofus and Gallant? They were faced with a conflict over spending a Saturday with their children or playing golf. Suppose their values include (as mine do): health + vitality, family well-being, integrity, and so on.
Mine are prioritized as: 1) integrity, 2) family well-being, and 3) health + vitality. So my decision is simple: spending time with my children takes precedence over playing golf. But you can easily see that if Goofus’ value priorities are: 1) integrity, 2) health + vitality, and 3) family well-being, he might easily (and correctly for him) choose to play golf on Saturday.
So after you have identified your top five or six Valid Values, take a few minutes to prioritize them. If you need help, try the “A Prioritizing Technique” workbook.
Finally, you must let your values influence and drive your behavior.
Turn Values into Behaviors
Knowing your values is absolutely required if you are to intentionally live them. Prioritizing helps in those situations where your values may conflict. But to do the work of living out your values, you must turn your values into behaviors. Turning your values into daily behaviors is a powerful way to ensure that your actions align with what matters most to you.
Turn Your Values into Behaviors
Here is an exercise to turn your values into behaviors. List your Valid Values in priority order, then write three short sentences that describe behaviors that demonstrate the value. Remember my top three values that I shared earlier? In order, they are 1) integrity, 2) family well-being, and 3) health + vitality. As an example, here are some behaviors that can help me live them out.
- Integrity
- Keep Promises: Make a habit of keeping my commitments, no matter how small they are.
- Honest Conversations: Practice honesty in my daily interactions, even when it’s difficult.
- Reflect on Actions: Take a few minutes each evening to reflect on the day and ensure that my actions align with my values.
- Family well-being
- Quality Time: Spend at least 10-15 minutes of uninterrupted quality time with each family member.
- Express Love: Say “I love you” and show appreciation to my family members daily.
- Family Check-Ins: Have a daily check-in with my family to discuss everyone’s day and any needs or concerns.
- Health + vitality
- Hydrate: Drink a glass of water first thing in the morning and continue to hydrate throughout the day.
- Exercise: Incorporate a 10-15 minute walk or a short exercise routine into my day.
- Healthy Eating: Choose one meal each day to focus on eating nutritious, whole foods.
Now, list your five or six Valid Values. Using this example (if you find it helpful), come up with three behaviors you can begin incorporating into your day to begin building your strong foundation of values.
Lay a Strong Foundation
Earlier, we considered the stories of Goofus and Gallant and reflected on how they might respond to different situations. Now, it’s time to turn the lens inward. Living a values-driven life isn’t just a concept — it’s a daily practice, a set of choices you make moment by moment. Here are a few questions to help you think deeply about how you can begin to integrate your values into your everyday life:
- What are your top five or six core values? Are you living in alignment with them, or are there areas where your actions don’t reflect your beliefs?
- When was the last time you made a decision based on your values, even if it was the harder choice? What was the outcome, and how did it make you feel?
- What simple behaviors can you start today to embody your values more fully? Can you think of small, specific actions that could make a big difference over time?
Take a moment to reflect on these questions. Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. Your insights could inspire others on their journey to living their own Excelerated Life™.
If you’re ready to start living in alignment with your values, begin today! Download the Valid Values Excelerator and Excelerator JumpStart – Valid Values tools to identify, prioritize, and integrate your values into your life. The Excelerated Life™ is about making proactive choices every day that bring you closer to your authentic self. Let your values guide you to live a life of integrity, purpose, and fulfillment. For that’s how you embrace your Excelerated Life™!
Excelerated Values™ – defining and living your Valid Values – is one practice for creating your Excelerated Life™, a life of flourishing and well-being, and a life of meaning, purpose, and service.
Read more about the Excelerated Life™.
Resources:
Covey, Stephen R. The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People. New York: Simon & Schuster, 1989.
Greitens, Eric. Resilience: Hard-Won Wisdom For Living A Better Life. New York: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company, 2015.
Kelly, Kevin. Excellent Advice for Living. New York: Viking, an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC, 2023.
This blog post includes research information provided by ChatGPT, an AI language model developed by OpenAI. To learn more about ChatGPT and its capabilities, you can visit the OpenAI website.