Values can change over time. Some values we adopted without thinking about them at the time. Some we outgrow. It’s a good idea to check in from time to time to be sure you are living from values that you consciously choose. Then you’re living your Excelerated Values™.
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Your Valid Values
Values are principles or qualities that we deem as worthy and desirable. Everyone has values, whether they can name them or not. One of the keys to creating an Excelerated Life™ is to choose your values and consciously take steps to live them.
Values are intrinsically neither “good” nor “bad” but some can serve you individually better than others. Some will appeal to you more than others. Sometimes, we get so caught up in the busyness of living that we fail to honor the values that are important to us — our Valid Values. When this happens, we feel disconnected from our lives, harried, and unfulfilled.
When your life is in congruence with your valid values — the principles you deem as important and desirable — you feel in harmony and balanced. If you are feeling out of touch or disconnected, you may not be living out of your values. It’s a good idea to check in from time to time to see that you are being true to your values, whatever they may be.
Values Change
Values tend to change over time and with changing life circumstances. Those that worked for you as a child at school change as you grow up and enter the working world and form adult relationships.
A single person may have different values than a married person (even when it’s the same person). Someone with no children likely has different values than a parent with young children, and the parent with young children could have different values than the parent with grown children.
Values change because we want them to. They change sometimes even when we didn’t mean them to. They change because something happens in our life. Or they change because something didn’t happen.
They change because we change.
Of course, some values we hold may never change. But most will and probably should as we live and grow.
Values Sources
Where do our values come from? We adopt values from our parents, from society, from groups (school, work, clubs) to which we belong.
Our earliest values likely came from parents and extended family. Others we picked up from church and school and friends. Then there are the values we acquire from society and our culture.
Finally, there are the values we consciously choose from our own life experiences.
Unconscious Values
We sometimes adopt values without thinking about them, especially when we are younger. This can happen when we pick up values from the work environment and the people we work with, or when we copy values from friends.
Sometimes we do it to fit in or because they make sense to us, but sometimes we adopt them without thinking about them.
Ignoring Values
Sometimes we don’t live according to our values. If you don’t have your basic needs met, you don’t have the bandwidth to incorporate values into your life. Consider Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Remember in Maslow’s hierarchy, your physiological needs (food, water, rest, etc.) and your need for safety and security must be met before you are ready or capable to move to the higher psychological needs and self-actualization, where you can begin to live from your values. Values only become important as motivators when your basic needs are already met.
Another thing to keep in mind is that sticking to your values can be uncomfortable when they bring you into conflict with someone important to you. For example, suppose you hold the values of integrity and honesty to be important. But if there is something you need to tell your boss that would be good for the company but which makes her feel threatened, you might be at risk of offending her or even losing your job. How important is that value to you? [Neo]
Choosing Values
The good news is that we can consciously choose or change our values and begin consciously living from them. It is a good idea to become more cognizant of your current true values because your current true values are your best guide to how to live a better life.
Defining and living from your “Valid Values” is a fundamental step in living your Excelerated Life™. The Valid Values Excelerator™ is a tool that leads you through an intentional process to clarify your topmost (“valid”) values. The Valid Values Excelerator™ guides you through the steps to understanding when you express your values and when you do not and how that impacts your life.
It isn’t a quick exercise but the insight you receive is worth the time and effort.
Where Do I Go From Here?
For the most part, we typically don’t examine our values until a major life event causes us to reevaluate what we consider important. But you don’t have to wait. You can take this important step in living your Excelerated Life™ at any time you choose. Here’s how to start.
Identify your current values and rank them in order of importance. We’ve already discussed how you can do this using The Valid Values Excelerator ™.
Now ask and answer these questions.
- How do these values help me to embrace an Excelerated Life™?
- Are there values I need to add?
- Are there values that no longer serve me?
- Do I need to re-prioritize any of my values?
Defining and living your Valid Values is an important foundational practice for living
your Excelerated Life™. And, as we have seen, values can change over time. It’s a good idea to check in from time to time to be sure you are living from values that you consciously choose. What tiny step could you take today to more closely align with your Valid Values? That is embracing your Excelerated Life™!
Excelerated Values™ – defining and living your Valid Values – is one step in creating your Excelerated Life™, a life of flourishing and well-being, and a life of meaning, purpose, and service.
Read more about the Excelerated Life™.
Resources:
Neo, Marcus. “What Are Personal Values? – Develop Integrity and Purpose.” www.MarcusNeo.Com. High Flying Ventures, January 14, 2021. Web. August 14, 2021.
https://marcusneo.com/what-are-personal-values/?msID=0e14907b-fd56-4609-afa9-ef05ba343763
Osment, LMFT, Holly. “Changing Values and Beliefs.” PDF File. August 14, 2021.
https://hollyosment.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Changing-Values-Beliefs.pdf
Semple, Rachel. “Do Values Change Over Time?.” FlashPoint. FlashPoint, Inc., October 3, 2019. Web. August 14, 2021.
https://www.flashpointleadership.com/blog/do-values-change-over-time
“Values and Morals Clarification: Value Changes.” MentalHelp.net. Recovery Brands LLC, a subsidiary of American Addiction Centers, Inc.,. Web. August 14, 2021.
https://www.mentalhelp.net/self-help/values-and-morals-changes/