Wishin’ And Hopin’

Our goals and aspirations generally fall into two categories – what we say we want and what we really want as shown by our actions. What do your actions say that you want?

“Just wishin’ and hopin’ and thinkin’ and prayin’ and plannin’ and dreamin’ . . .” ~ Wishin’ And Hopin’ by Dusty Springfield

Actions Speak Louder . . .

“I’m very dependable; you can count on me,” my friend told me at lunch one day. She did not see the irony in the fact that she had been 10 minutes late that day and had been late the last two times we met. I did what I usually do in those situations — I smile and nod and then watch to see if the actions suit the word. “Who you are speaks so loudly,” said Emerson, “I can’t hear what you are saying.”

Working For What You Want

I have observed over the last several years — both in myself and in others — that what we say we want and what we really want are often two different things. A statement I read the other day brought this to mind again: “If you’re not actively involved in getting what you want, you don’t really want it.”

Our goals and aspirations generally fall into two categories: 1) what we say we want, and 2) what we really want as shown by our actions.

Two Categories Of Goals

A person may say he wants a closer relationship with his family. Then he works late every night, doesn’t come home till after dinner, and plays golf on the weekend. Meanwhile his children grow up without him.

Or someone says she values good health. But she rarely exercises, doesn’t watch what she eats, and doesn’t manage stress. Gradually, her energy drains away and she is plagued by minor ailments.

It’s easy to see the difference in what they say they want and what they are actively pursuing.

Of course you aren’t pursuing your goals 24 / 7, so how do you know what your actions say you want? Your calendar can help. What did you do last week toward your stated goals? What actions do you have planned for the next couple of weeks?

If you think you want something, but so far thinking is all you’ve done, maybe it’s time to re-visit that thought. You have 3 choices.

Three Choices

(1) You can decide not to decide and so choose by default. You can continue to go through life with blinders on, fooling yourself and pretending you want what you say you want. This choice leads to frustrations (“Why can’t I ever get what I want?”) and feelings of unworthiness (“I guess I just don’t deserve it.”).

(2) You can decide that what you say you want isn’t really what you want after all, that your goal isn’t really your goal. Oh, it might be nice to have but it isn’t worth the effort it will take to achieve. Go ahead and mark it off your list. Often this frees you up to pursue a real goal.

(3) You can decide that you really do want what you say you want and begin taking real action steps toward getting it. Bringing your desires and your actions into alignment gives you a sense of integrity.

Most of us choose option 1 as the path of least resistance. But I encourage you to try either option 2 or 3. There you are acting as your Empowered Self and choosing the life you want to live. In fact, you are choosing the Excelerated Life™


Excelerated focus — aligning your actions with your true desires — is one step in creating your Excelerated Life™, a life of flourishing, of well-being, meaning, and purpose.

words and actions

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