The foundation for an Excelerated Life™ begins with three “bricks”. Excelerated Acceptance™ allows us to “get real” by identifying and accepting the things we struggle with. Using Excelerated Response™, we address the things we can change. And with the practice of Excelerated Values™, we define our principles and standards of behavior and identify what is important in life. It starts with Values.
[Title Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko]
From Party Mode to Purpose
In my early twenties, I didn’t know what my values were. In fact, I didn’t know such a thing existed.
I dropped out of college, floated between half-formed dreams of being a poet or a singer-songwriter, and spent more time chasing a good time than building a good life. There was no clear sense of direction, no deeper “why.” My compass spun freely because I hadn’t yet set true north.
I wasn’t a bad person. Just an unanchored one.
It took years (and a few scraped knees on the road of experience) to learn that when we don’t consciously define our values, the world will be more than happy to define them for us. Advertisers, peers, cultural noise — they’ll all hand you a list of “shoulds.” Without clarity, you live reactively instead of intentionally.
Discovering my own Valid Values changed that. It became the third foundational brick of the Excelerated Life™, the practice that aligns everything else. And it’s one you can begin right now, wherever you are.
The Third Brick — Building the Foundation of an Excelerated Life™
The Excelerated Life™ rests on three foundational bricks:
- Excelerated Acceptance™ – Getting real about what is, and accepting it fully.
- Excelerated Response™ – Addressing what we can change, using wise action.
- Excelerated Values™ – Defining our principles, standards, and what truly matters.
Acceptance is seeing clearly. Response is acting wisely. Values are the compass that keeps those actions pointed in the right direction.
Living by Valid Values is not about perfection. It’s about alignment, about bringing our actions into harmony with what we say matters most. When your actions and values align, there’s a deep peace within. When they don’t, even success feels hollow.
The Foundation Beneath Every Choice
Every decision we make is built on an unseen foundation of values, whether we’ve named them or not.
When you don’t know your values, life feels scattered. You say yes to things you don’t mean, pursue goals that don’t satisfy, and wonder why even accomplishments leave you restless.
But when you know your Valid Values, when they are clearly defined and consciously lived , life starts to click into place.
Values are filters. They simplify choices. As Holiday Mathis said, “The benefit of living a principled life is that the rules can simplify your thought process by eliminating dozens of small decisions.”
Instead of asking, “What should I do?” you begin asking, “What would someone who values integrity (or growth or kindness) do in this situation?”
The difference is profound. Life stops being a guessing game and starts becoming an expression of your true self.
Five Ways to Define and Live Your Valid Values
1. Start Where You Are (and Start Small)
Cheryl Johnson’s Box Lunch Lifestyle reminds us that we don’t need massive overhauls to live meaningfully; we just need small, consistent acts aligned with what matters.
- You don’t have to take a weekend retreat to find your values. You can begin right where you are.
Use ordinary moments, like your lunch hour, your commute, or your evening walk, to ask:
- “What did I value most in my best moments today?”
- “When did I feel off-balance, and what value was being ignored?”
Tiny awarenesses build powerful clarity. The Excelerated Life™ is lived in the margins of everyday time.
2. Clarify Through Action
Clarity comes through action, not before it.
Many people wait to “figure it all out” before taking a step, but that’s like waiting for the fog to lift before turning on your headlights. Move first; clarity will follow.
Try this: Each week, intentionally live out one potential value. It may be courage. Maybe simplicity. Maybe joy.
As you do, notice how it feels. Some values will energize you. Others will feel forced. Keep what rings true.
This is how your list of “Valid Values” emerges. Not from theory, but from lived experience.
3. Subtract What Doesn’t Fit
Leidy Klotz’s Subtract offers a valuable insight: sometimes progress comes not from adding, but removing.
Living your values often means pruning your commitments, habits, or even relationships that no longer align.
Ask yourself:
“What in my life pulls me away from what I say I value most?”
Then take one small step to subtract the noise.
- If you value family, maybe you turn off work notifications after 6 p.m.
- If you value growth, maybe you unsubscribe from media that keeps you stuck in comparison.
- If you value health, maybe you remove one draining obligation to reclaim time for movement or rest.
When you subtract what’s misaligned, you make room for what matters.
4. “Let Them” — The Freedom of Living from Values
Mel Robbins’ Let Them Theory dovetails beautifully with Excelerated Values™.
When someone disregards your boundaries or expectations, you can fume. Or you can say, “Let them.”
Let them be who they are. Then you choose your response based on your values.
If you value respect, you can choose to step away quietly.
If you value patience, you can choose calm instead of confrontation.
Living by values means you no longer try to manage others’ behavior. You simply act from your own integrity.
That’s real freedom.
5. Be True to Yourself
Dr. John Izzo, in The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die, said the first secret is simple: Be true to yourself.
That means living in harmony with your values and passions, not chasing approval, comfort, or external success.
This takes courage. It means asking hard questions:
- Am I living true to my values? Or betraying them for ease or approval?
- Where am I compromising what matters most?
Try this weekly:
Pick one core value. Write down three specific ways you’ll live it this week.
If your value is kindness, maybe you:
- Send a note of appreciation.
- Offer patience when you’d usually snap.
- Give yourself grace for not being perfect.
Repeat with a different value next week. Over time, you’ll build a rhythm of integrity; a life that feels right because it is right.
The Hiker’s Trail
Imagine you’re hiking a mountain trail (something I know a little about).
When I was new to hiking, I didn’t always prepare well. I’d grab a water bottle, maybe a snack, and head out. That worked fine . . . until it didn’t. I learned (sometimes the hard way) that without the right provisions and reserves, a trail can go from exhilarating to exhausting very quickly.
Values work the same way.
They are your provisions, the essentials you carry on your journey through life. They keep you grounded, fueled, and moving toward your summit.
Without them, you can get caught up in the distractions along the way: side trails, wrong turns, or the pressure to keep pace with others.
With them, even when the path gets steep, you know why you’re climbing.
Putting Your Values Into Motion
Here are a few practical ways to activate your Excelerated Values™ this week:
- Name Your Top Five.
Write down five values that resonate deeply. If you need inspiration, look for moments when you’ve felt most alive, proud, or at peace. - Define Them Clearly.
What does each value look like in action? For instance, “Integrity” might mean telling the truth even when it’s uncomfortable. “Growth” might mean reading something that challenges your thinking. - Spot the Gaps.
Where are you out of alignment? Notice where your time, money, or attention go and ask if those choices reflect your stated values. - Make a Micro-Shift.
Pick one small, concrete action to bring a neglected value to life. For example:- Value: Health → Walk 10 minutes after lunch.
- Value: Connection → Eat dinner without devices.
- Value: Learning → Read 5 pages of a meaningful book.
- Check Your Compass Weekly.
Once a week, reflect:- Which values guided me well this week?
- Where did I drift off course?
- What adjustments do I need to realign?
- Create a “Values in Action” Plan.
Choose one core value per week and plan three ways to live it. Keep a short journal or checklist. It’s simple, but powerful.
Start with Values
An Excelerated Life™ doesn’t begin with goals, habits, or strategies. It begins with values.
They’re the blueprint beneath the building, the trail map before the climb, the compass in your pocket. Without them, success feels hollow; with them, even setbacks have meaning.
When you start with values, you live deliberately. You act from clarity. You simplify decisions and strengthen integrity. And you become a person who not only knows what matters . . . but lives it.
This week, take your first (or next) step:
- Identify your top five values.
- Define what each means to you in real terms.
- Choose one to practice — intentionally, visibly, and joyfully.
Because when you live your Excelerated Values™, you don’t just create a better week. You embrace your Excelerated Life™!
Are you consistently living from your values?
What is one step you can take to align your actions and your values more closely?
How could you begin that today?
Share your comments by leaving a post below.
Excelerated Values™ – defining and living your Valid Values – is one practice for creating your Excelerated Life™, a life of flourishing and well-being, and a life of meaning, purpose, and service.
Read more about the Excelerated Life™.
Resources:
Izzo, John B. The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die. San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler Publisher, Inc., 2008.
Johnson, Cheryl K. Box Lunch Lifestyle. Marine on St. Croix, MN: Traction Books, 2022.
Klotz, Leidy. Subtract: The Untapped Science of Less. New York: Flatiron Books, 2021.
Robbins, Mel. The Let Them Theory. Carlsbad, CA: Hay House, LLC, 2024.
This blog post includes research information provided by ChatGPT, an AI language model developed by OpenAI. The content was generated with AI assistance and is intended to provide information and guidance. Please note that the suggestions are not official statements from OpenAI. To learn more about ChatGPT and its capabilities, you can visit the OpenAI website.