At the end of our lives, it’s not the number of emails we answered, the errands we checked off, or the promotions we earned that matter most. It’s the quality of our relationships. When you invest in your relationships, you build the foundation for a flourishing life.
[Title Photo by cottonbro studio]
A Moment of Connection
Last week, I stopped by the grocery store to pick up a few items we’d forgotten during our regular shopping trip. I was in a bit of a hurry and so wasn’t in the mood for small talk, but the cashier greeted me with a warm smile and asked about my day. I mumbled something back, preoccupied with the things I still needed to get done. But then, when she handed me my receipt, she added, “I hope the rest of your day is really good.” Something about her tone made me pause. I looked up, really looked at her, and returned the kindness. That tiny exchange shifted my mood for the rest of the afternoon.
It reminded me that relationships don’t always begin with big commitments or grand gestures. They start with these small, intentional moments of connection. When we choose to notice and respond, we strengthen the invisible web that ties us to each other.
Building a Life That Lasts
At the end of our lives, it’s not the number of emails we answered, the errands we checked off, or the promotions we earned that matter most. It’s the quality of our relationships. They form the fabric of a flourishing life.
Clayton M. Christensen, in How Will You Measure Your Life?, reminds us: “How you allocate your own resources can make your life turn out to be exactly as you hope or very different from what you intend.” Time and energy are finite. How we spend them determines whether we build lives of meaning or lives full of regret.
Excelerated Relationships™ invites us to invest those precious resources wisely — in love, in presence, and in mutual growth.
Love Broadens and Builds
Barbara Fredrickson’s Love 2.0 introduces us to a powerful idea: love broadens and builds. In her research, love isn’t just grand gestures or lifelong commitments. It’s found in micro-moments, much as I experienced at the grocery store: a shared smile, a kind word, a moment of genuine presence. These small connections expand our awareness, strengthen resilience, and nourish our health.
Science even shows that love changes the body. Repeated experiences of “positivity resonance” strengthen the vagus nerve, improve emotional regulation, and promote vitality. Love literally strengthens us from the inside out.
When we don’t prioritize relationships, we cut ourselves off from this deep reservoir of well-being. We may gain short-term efficiency, but at the cost of long-term health and happiness.
To help you improve your well-being through your relationships, here are some ideas to get you started.
Invest for the Long Term
Remember George Bailey in It’s a Wonderful Life? In his darkest hour, what saved him wasn’t his bank account but the countless friendships he had built over time. That didn’t happen by accident — it was the result of years of showing up, giving, and caring.
Christensen puts it plainly: “Investments in relationships with friends and family need to be made long, long before you’ll see any sign that they are paying off. If you defer investing your time and energy until you see that you need to, chances are it will already be too late.”
Choose today to spend your energy and your attention where it will matter most tomorrow.
Nurture Ties with Compassion
Relationships thrive when we allow others to be themselves. Instead of trying to fix or mold people, we practice respect, even when their quirks or traits irritate us. Often (and this is important), what bothers us in others reflects something we haven’t fully embraced in ourselves.
By noticing these patterns and responding with compassion, we not only strengthen the relationship but also grow in self-awareness.
Everyday Opportunities for Love
Fredrickson’s research reminds us: love doesn’t live only in big, cinematic moments. It’s cultivated daily: in eye contact with a cashier, in an encouraging word to a colleague, in an unhurried moment with a spouse or child.
So treat these micro-moments as opportunities to invest in connections that pay off in the long run.
Barriers to Love (and How to Overcome Them)
Of course, we don’t always experience these moments. Why?
- Distraction. Our phones, to-do lists, and constant multitasking steal attention from people.
- Busyness. We convince ourselves we’ll “make time later,” but later rarely comes.
- Self-absorption. We get so focused on our own worries that we fail to notice others.
Removing these barriers is essential. Just as Excelerated Simplicity™ encourages us to eliminate clutter and distractions, Excelerated Relationships™ calls us to simplify our commitments and prioritize what matters most — people.
Examples to Consider
Suppose you come home after a busy day. You’re tempted to scroll through your phone or dive into chores, but instead, you pause, sit with your spouse, and really listen for five minutes. That single choice — presence over distraction — nourishes connection in a way that accumulates over time.
Or imagine a co-worker whose habits irritate you. Instead of letting annoyance build, you get curious: “What does this behavior say about them? Or about me?” That reflection softens irritation into compassion, transforming the dynamic.
Putting Ideas Into Action
- Choose one relationship to invest in this week. Make one small, deliberate gesture — a note, a call, an invitation.
- Remove one barrier. Put the phone down at dinner. Say no to one unnecessary task and yes to time with someone you love.
- Notice the micro-moments. Smile, make eye contact, express gratitude. These brief encounters add up.
- Practice compassionate curiosity. When someone irritates you, pause to consider what their behavior is teaching you about patience, boundaries, or empathy.
Invest in Your Relationships
Relationships are built by daily choices, not with grand declarations. They grow when we invest early and often, nurture ties with compassion, and guard against the distractions that erode connection.
Ask yourself:
- Who needs a bit more of my presence this week?
- What barrier can I remove to make space for love?
- How can I nurture my relationships today so that, like George Bailey, I’ll be rich in friendship when I need it most?
Begin now to invest in your relationships. Love doesn’t just broaden and build your life; it builds the lives of everyone around you. And that is one step in embracing your Excelerated Life™!
Notice one person today. Make eye contact, smile, and greet them with genuine warmth.
Then, observe what that does for your overall mood.
Share your experience by leaving a comment below.
Developing Excelerated Relationships™ — nurturing ties to other people — is one practice for creating your Excelerated Life™, a life of flourishing and well-being, and a life of meaning, purpose, and service.
Read more about the Excelerated Life™.
Resources:
Christensen, Clayton M. How Will You Measure Your Life? New York: HarperCollins Publishers Inc., 2012.
Ford, Debbie. The Dark Side of the Light Chasers. New York: Riverhead Books/The Berkeley Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Putnam Inc., 1998.
Fredrickson, Ph.D., Barbara, L. Love 2.0: How Our Supreme Emotion Affects Everything We, Feel, Think, Do, And Become. New York: Hudson Street Press, 2013.
This blog post includes research information provided by ChatGPT, an AI language model developed by OpenAI. The content was generated with AI assistance and is intended to provide information and guidance. Please note that the suggestions are not official statements from OpenAI. To learn more about ChatGPT and its capabilities, you can visit the OpenAI website.