“Hate Well”: How To Deal With, Not Put Up With, Tolerations

“Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good.” [Romans 12:0 (NLT)]

What do you hate?

What do you hate? We are conditioned to find this question a little uncomfortable. We are generally taught that we shouldn’t hate anyone or anything; that it is somehow bad or anti-social. But before you answer the question, consider this point of view from Dr. Henry Cloud.

“What would you think, for example, about a person who said that he hates the following things: arrogance, lying, innocent people being hurt, harmful schemes, evil practices, telling lies about others, and things that stir up dissension among people? Continue reading ““Hate Well”: How To Deal With, Not Put Up With, Tolerations”

Make a Commitment

“The most meaningful thing you can do is make a promise to yourself and keep it. You start to feel like you can trust yourself and rely on yourself.” ~ Phil Stutz

The path to Lifetime growth.

Do you want to build your self-discipline? Do you want to build trust in yourself and your ability to do what you say you will do? Do you want to practice the virtue of Integrity?  These are valuable steps on the path to lifetime growth.

One way to practice these steps is to instill a daily habit. Make it something that is good for you and makes you feel good about yourself. And once you start, do it every day until it becomes second nature. Discipline improves with practice. Continue reading “Make a Commitment”

Closing The Gaps

“Gaps in our lives drain the power needed to make a positive difference in the world.” ~ Hyrum Smith

“Inner peace is having serenity, balance and harmony in our lives achieved through the disciplined closing of gaps.” ~ Hyrum Smith [The 3 Gaps: Are You Making A Difference?]

The 3 Gaps

“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child . . .”[1 Corinthians 13:11a (New King James Version)] I believed many things as a child that I have since found to be either untrue, unfounded or unhelpful. I believed in Santa Claus much longer than most of my classmates. I believed that there was a physical place up above the clouds – Heaven – that was ruled over by God, a giant man in a great white cloak. I believed in fairies and elves and sometimes saw signs of them in the woods above my home. I believed that if I stepped on a crack I’d break my mother’s back and that if a frog peed on my hand, I’d get warts. You probably believed some of these yourself. Continue reading “Closing The Gaps”

Take Two

“You don’t learn from successes; you don’t learn from awards; you don’t learn from celebrity; you only learn from wounds and scars and mistakes and failures. And that’s the truth.” ~ Jane Fonda

It seemed fool-proof. An easy $100. The carnival side-show barker had lured me, girl friend in tow, over to his game. Ten wooden bottles stacked in a pyramid. All I had to do was pay $1.00 and knock over all 10 bottles — ten times. If I missed and didn’t knock them over, my ante doubled . . . $2, $4, $8, etc. But I figured I could easily knock over the 10 bottles ten times in 10 or 12 or 14 tries. My “investment” would be well under the $100 I was sure to win. So I paid my $1.00 and tossed the ball. Knocked over all but 1. No worries. I was only down $2.00 and I was sure I’d get them all from now on. Continue reading “Take Two”

Suffering Is Optional

Have you ever admired an exquisite pearl necklace, each lustrous pearl perfect in shape and shimmering iridescence? Do you know how pearls are made? Natural pearls are created when an irritant, a grain of sand or a bit of stone, gets inside the shell of a mollusk. The mollusk reacts to the irritant by coating it with a substance to reduce the irritation. Over time, as layer upon layer is added, a pearl is formed. The source of a natural pearl is irritation. The mollusk responds to the irritation by creating something of beauty and value.

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Plug The Energy Drains

Thomas Leonard, the “father” of life coaching, was one of the first people to understand and point out how tolerating petty annoyances was a huge drain on one’s energy. Here are steps you can take right now to begin dealing with the things you are tolerating.

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plug the energy drains

Thomas Leonard defined tolerations as those things we “put up with, accept, take on, and are dragged down by” . . . including “people’s behavior, situations, unmet needs, crossed boundaries, unfinished business, frustrations, problems, and even our own behavior.” [Coach U]

Continue reading “Plug The Energy Drains”

Turn Excuses Into Actions

“The truth, as I see it, is that everything you think, say, and do is a choice — and you don’t need to think, speak, or act as you’ve done for your entire life. When you abandon making choices, you enter the vast world of excuses.” ~ Wayne W. Dyer, Excuses Begone! How to Change Lifelong, Self-Defeating Thinking Habits

turn excuses into actions

Making Progress Or Making Excuses

Are you making progress toward your BIG goal or are you making excuses? When you get down to the basics, this is a fundamental choice you and I must make. As my friend Robert says, “There is no such word as gress. You either progress or you regress.”

Continue reading “Turn Excuses Into Actions”

“Up With Which I Will Not Put”

“When a memorandum passed round a certain Government department, one young pedant scribbled a postscript drawing attention to the fact that the sentence ended with a preposition, which caused the original writer to circulate another memorandum complaining that the anonymous postscript was ‘offensive impertinence, up with which I will not put.’ —The Strand Magazine.” From an article in The Wall Street Journal, 30 Sep 1942.

When You Don’t Deal With Annoyances

This witty quote – “offensive impertinence, up with which I will not put” – is frequently attributed to Sir Winston Churchill but there is no conclusive evidence that he actually wrote or said it. However, my purpose is not to conjecture who said it. Instead, I want to ask, what are the things up with which you are putting? You know, those little – and big – things that you are tolerating instead of dealing with.

“By ignoring the problem,” said Cheryl Richardson, author of Take Time For Your Life, “you raise your threshold for pain and make it easier to put up with more.” Soon, petty annoyances drop off your radar, minor annoyances become petty, and major annoyances become minor. Then your life falls apart or you get stuck in place because you aren’t dealing with your stuff.

Continue reading ““Up With Which I Will Not Put””