What You Focus On Expands

Caring people live in a caring world. Loving people live in a loving world. Mean people live in a mean world. Grouchy people live in a grouchy world. It’s the same world . . . what you focus on expands.

“In fact, I don’t understand why I act the way I do. I don’t do what I know is right. I do the things I hate. . . Even when I want to do right, I cannot. Instead of doing what I know is right, I do wrong.” ~ Romans 7: 15, 18b-19 [Bible Gateway]

Three Riders On The Subway

Things were not going well at work. And, if I were truthful with myself, things weren’t going well in my life, period. Much like the apostle, Paul, even when I wanted to do what is right, I didn’t do it.

I scanned the subway cars, looking for one that was near empty. In my foul mood, I really didn’t want to be around anyone. I spotted a car that had only 3 people in it. Shoulders slumped, head down, I stepped in, not making eye-contact with any of the others, moving to a seat as far away as I could get.

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Strengths In Adversity

Drawing on character strengths, and especially our Signature Strengths, gives us tools to deal with adversity and grow, even thrive (i.e., become “antifragile”), from the process. Using strengths in adversity provides three distinct techniques to positively deal with set backs, glitches, and failure.

“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

“Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. But it almost kills you.” ~ Conan O’Brien

Opportunity Or Adversity: A Good Time To Use Your Strengths

I typically think about using my Signature Strengths to enhance positive emotions and experiences. But in addition to using them when life is going well, a person can draw on Signature Strengths during the hard times and difficulties of life. In fact, using strengths in adversity may be one of the most beneficial ways to live from your Strengths.

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Self-Full

Excelerated Self-Care™ — taking excellent care of yourself — is a self-full act. You must care for yourself if you are to be of service to others. You cannot give what you do not have.

Burnout!

Carol [*] felt like she was on the edge of a precipice where she might plunge over at any moment.

She was bone-tired. She climbed into bed exhausted every night. And she woke up exhausted every morning. It was all she could do to drag one foot, then the other, to plop on the floor.

On top of the chronic exhaustion, Carol never felt well. She had a dull, throbbing headache much of the time. Her mouth was dry, her skin was dry, her hair was lackluster and dull. Her stomach burned. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt really good.

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Wishin’ And Hopin’

Our goals and aspirations generally fall into two categories – what we say we want and what we really want as shown by our actions. What do your actions say that you want?

“Just wishin’ and hopin’ and thinkin’ and prayin’ and plannin’ and dreamin’ . . .” ~ Wishin’ And Hopin’ by Dusty Springfield

Actions Speak Louder . . .

“I’m very dependable; you can count on me,” my friend told me at lunch one day. She did not see the irony in the fact that she had been 10 minutes late that day and had been late the last two times we met. I did what I usually do in those situations — I smile and nod and then watch to see if the actions suit the word. “Who you are speaks so loudly,” said Emerson, “I can’t hear what you are saying.”

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Make Productivity A Habit

To achieve any worthy goal, you must decide what is vital to the project, then structure your days so you can devote large chunks of time to those vital activities.

A Tale Of Two Workers

“It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.” ~ Charles Dickens, A Tale Of Two Cities

Andrew and Angela worked for the same company. They were hired at about the same time to join the company’s sales team. And there the similarities end.

Angela developed a habit of coming in to work at 7:00 AM, about an hour before most of the sales team arrived. She always had a list of tasks which she had prepared the night before. She came in, sat down, and went to work on the first task on her list.

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Let Go Of Fear

Is Fear standing between you and your goal? Move toward the fear. Take tiny steps and you can overcome the obstacle of fear that is keeping you from your goal.

“If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.” – Henry Ford

Limited By Fear

I don’t know when I picked up the fear of speaking in front of people. I remember when I was a young teenager leading Scout meetings as a senior patrol leader and enjoying it. And I remember taking a turn in English class leading the vocabulary lessons and feeling quite competent. But somewhere along the way, by the time I finished high school, I developed a paralyzing fear of standing up and speaking in front of a crowd.

How bad was the fear? Well, I selected my initial major in college based on the fact that it was one of the few that did not require a public speaking class. My fear limited my choices.

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The Next You

It’s useful to have role models to guide us, but don’t waste time trying to become your role model. Instead, focus on being the next you . . . the Best You.

The Next Bob Dylan

What do you want to be and to do? Some people say things like “I want to be the next Oprah” or “the next Hemingway” or “the next Tiger Woods”. There is a different way. How about being the next You?

When I was about 12 years old, I had an experience that had a major impact on my life. I heard my first Bob Dylan song. This was my stepping stone for going from childhood to adolescence. Dylan’s songs and his singing had a lasting influence on me.

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Maintenance Required

Your body is the vehicle you use to traverse Life. Every vehicle performs more smoothly and over a longer period of time when it is well maintained. Small, consistent actions, repeated over time, lead to remarkable results.

Neglect

My first car was a 1962 Ford Fairlane; blue, with bucket seats. I don’t remember how much it cost – I paid for it working part time as a bag boy at Winn Dixie. I loved that car but I drove it hard — teenage driver. And I never did anything to maintain it. Never changed the oil. Never checked belts or hoses. Rarely checked the air in the tires . . . unless one got really low. I did not take care of the car and it didn’t last very long.

It required several years and getting stuck with broken down cars for me to learn the importance of maintenance – doing the small but important tasks to keep the car running smoothly. But I eventually got the lesson. Every machine performs better longer when it is properly maintained and cared for. And this includes you and me.

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Tapping The Power Of Acceptance

A big part of healing and recovery is accepting what has taken place. Acceptance is an important first step for dealing with adversity and moving forward with your life.

A Fable About Acceptance

A raven, black as midnight, spied a Swan and envied her feathers because they were white as pure snow. He decided that if he lived as the Swan did, his feathers would become white.

So the Raven left his home in the woods and flew away to the lake where the Swan lived. He swam and dived in the water and ate the water plants, just like the Swan.

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Simplifying Simplicity

“Our life is frittered away by detail… simplify, simplify.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

Searching for the next Big Idea

I am in love with ideas. I am intrigued and fascinated by them. One of my Signature Strengths his Love Of Learning. I like to learn new things and new ways to do old things. I am constantly searching for shiny new ideas and new twists on old concepts.

One reason is that I, like many people, am basically lazy. I want to have and do and be various things — and I want to have and do and be them NOW with the least amount of effort. So I am regularly on the look out for the newest big idea that will get me what I want. I flit from this book to that audio CD seminar to the latest program of something or other.

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