Wishin’ And Hopin’

Our goals and aspirations generally fall into two categories – what we say we want and what we really want as shown by our actions. What do your actions say that you want?

“Just wishin’ and hopin’ and thinkin’ and prayin’ and plannin’ and dreamin’ . . .” ~ Wishin’ And Hopin’ by Dusty Springfield

Actions Speak Louder . . .

“I’m very dependable; you can count on me,” my friend told me at lunch one day. She did not see the irony in the fact that she had been 10 minutes late that day and had been late the last two times we met. I did what I usually do in those situations — I smile and nod and then watch to see if the actions suit the word. “Who you are speaks so loudly,” said Emerson, “I can’t hear what you are saying.”

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The Next You

It’s useful to have role models to guide us, but don’t waste time trying to become your role model. Instead, focus on being the next you . . . the Best You.

The Next Bob Dylan

What do you want to be and to do? Some people say things like “I want to be the next Oprah” or “the next Hemingway” or “the next Tiger Woods”. There is a different way. How about being the next You?

When I was about 12 years old, I had an experience that had a major impact on my life. I heard my first Bob Dylan song. This was my stepping stone for going from childhood to adolescence. Dylan’s songs and his singing had a lasting influence on me.

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Sharpen Your Focus

In a world of growing distractions, it becomes increasingly important to be able to “go deep”, to ignore the “shiny objects” and focus on the things that are truly important to you.

Get The Big Rocks In First

A professor brought a wide-mouthed glass jar to class and set it on a table. From under the table, he brought out a bucket of large rocks. He began placing rocks into the glass jar until no more would fit.

He asked the class, “Is the jar full?”

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Why You Need Focused Energy

“If you chase two rabbits, both will escape.” ~ Source obscure

The Joke’s On Me

My daughters love to play practical jokes on me. The April Fool’s Day tricks they have orchestrated over the years have become legendary to my friends.

One morning, and not April 1, I got in my car and turned the switch. The car sprang into life! The lights came on, the wipers started beating back and forth, the blinkers started blinking, the heater sent out a blast of air, the radio blared. Those little stinkers had turned on everything they could in my car. Continue reading “Why You Need Focused Energy”

Want to change a behavior? Change your environment.

“Many of our repeated behaviors are cued by everyday environments, even though people think they’re making choices all the time.” ~ Wendy Wood

You and I may think we’re in control of our actions, but research shows that nearly ½ of human behaviors occurs in the same location each day and is cued by the environment. [Duke Today] Recall Charles Duhigg’s “habit loop”, the 3-step process that causes habits to develop. [Duhigg] The habit loop consists of 1) cue, 2) routine, and 3) reward. Repetition of this loop over time causes a behavior (the routine) to become ingrained as habit.

According to Wendy Wood, formerly the James B. Duke professor of psychology and neuroscience at Duke and now at the University of Southern California, the cue is often our environment. Continue reading “Want to change a behavior? Change your environment.”

Don’t Focus On What You Don’t Want

Don’t focus on what you don’t want. Choose the thoughts (and actions) that serve you best.

“The components of anxiety, stress, fear, and anger do not exist independently of you in the world. They simply do not exist in the physical world, even though we talk about them as if they do.” ~ Wayne Dyer

A friend and colleague recently loaned me a tape program, “Excuses Begone!” by Dr. Wayne Dyer. There was one concept from Dr. Dyer’s presentation that really sparked my imagination. Continue reading “Don’t Focus On What You Don’t Want”

What Do You Expect?

The person who doesn’t believe she can be happy will most likely be unhappy. The person who doesn’t believe she deserves wealth and abundance will live in poverty, even in the midst of plenty. The person who believes sales people are rude, waiters are surly, and support personnel are incompetent usually is helped by a rude sales clerk, served by surly waiters, and seldom finds anyone to help who knows what he or she is doing. What do you expect?

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Go For It

“I just can’t seem to get started on my goal.” “I have a goal I want to achieve but I don’t have time to work on it right now.” Sound familiar? Are you using a similar excuse to postpone a worthwhile goal that you’d like to be moving toward? If this sounds like you, here are some things to consider.

Is your goal your goal? The first thing you need to decide is if this is your goal. Not your parents’, not your spouse’s, not society’s, not a “should” or an “ought to”. If it isn’t something you can feel a strong desire to achieve (you may not feel it now but you need to be able to create the desire) chances are it isn’t your goal and either (1) you won’t achieve it, or (2) it won’t mean that much if you do make it. Be sure your goal is your goal.

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