Drop The Burden Of Tolerations

Tolerating things, people, situations, and environments holds you back from making changes to improve your life. Eliminating tolerations clears the way to creating your Excelerated Life™.

An Experiment

What was wrong with me? Although I was constantly busy, I couldn’t get anything accomplished. I bounced from one task to another, but there was always something that prevented me from finishing what I wanted to do.

So I decided to do an experiment. I had been reading Thomas Leonard’s book on personal coaching, The 28 Laws Of Attraction, and one of the chapters, “Step 15: Tolerate Nothing”, had caught my attention. Tolerations, Leonard said, are “things that bug us, sap our energy, and could be eliminated!” [Leonard]

And that, I thought, pretty much summed up what I was dealing with. Perhaps it was time to start eliminating tolerations.

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Clear Up Annoyances To Progress Toward Your Goals

Small annoyances may have an effect on goal progress. Dealing with things we have been tolerating could improve our ability to make progress toward our goals by improving our ratio of positive to negative experiences.

How Jack Got A Promotion

Jack was unhappy at his job. His desk was a disorganized mess. He felt his skills were underutilized. His cubicle neighbor played loud music on her computer, which made it difficult for him to concentrate. His boss was constantly looking in on Jack to check the progress on his latest assignments. He wanted more responsibility and more pay but he wasn’t getting the recognition he deserved for his work. Jack’s goal was to get a job where he could contribute more – and get paid more – but months had passed and he had made little progress in his job search.

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Become Immaculate

Tolerating situations, things, and people drains your energy and keeps you from being your best self. Taking the time and effort to fix them plugs the energy drain and helps you learn to deal with things as they occur and to “step over nothing”.

Hiding A Stain

Imagine you throw a big party. Lots of good friends, good food and good wine. But sometime during the evening, someone spills a glass of wine on your freshly-cleaned carpet. You can’t deal with it right now, but you plan to see to it in the morning.

Morning comes and you are faced with the huge stain. You can’t deal with it right now, but you plan to see to it right after work.

You come home, tired from a day of hard work. You walk in the door and see the big stain. You can’t deal with it right now – you’re way too tired – but you’ll see to it soon. Meanwhile, you cover the stain with a throw rug.

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Raise Your Standards

Standards are the behaviors you hold yourself to. As you raise your standards, your health, your work, your relationships, and your self-esteem improve.

“Huskey Time”

When I was a young man, I had a bad habit . . . well, I had a number of bad habits, but right now I want to focus on this one: I was always late.

Rarely did I pay attention to the exact time. I didn’t wear a watch and this was well before the ubiquitous cell phone let me know the time at a glance. I was typically 10 to 15 minutes late for appointments, work, classes, etc., etc.

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“Hate Well”: How To Deal With, Not Put Up With, Tolerations

“Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good.” [Romans 12:0 (NLT)]

What do you hate?

What do you hate? We are conditioned to find this question a little uncomfortable. We are generally taught that we shouldn’t hate anyone or anything; that it is somehow bad or anti-social. But before you answer the question, consider this point of view from Dr. Henry Cloud.

“What would you think, for example, about a person who said that he hates the following things: arrogance, lying, innocent people being hurt, harmful schemes, evil practices, telling lies about others, and things that stir up dissension among people? Continue reading ““Hate Well”: How To Deal With, Not Put Up With, Tolerations”

Closing The Gaps

“Gaps in our lives drain the power needed to make a positive difference in the world.” ~ Hyrum Smith

“Inner peace is having serenity, balance and harmony in our lives achieved through the disciplined closing of gaps.” ~ Hyrum Smith [The 3 Gaps: Are You Making A Difference?]

The 3 Gaps

“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child . . .”[1 Corinthians 13:11a (New King James Version)] I believed many things as a child that I have since found to be either untrue, unfounded or unhelpful. I believed in Santa Claus much longer than most of my classmates. I believed that there was a physical place up above the clouds – Heaven – that was ruled over by God, a giant man in a great white cloak. I believed in fairies and elves and sometimes saw signs of them in the woods above my home. I believed that if I stepped on a crack I’d break my mother’s back and that if a frog peed on my hand, I’d get warts. You probably believed some of these yourself. Continue reading “Closing The Gaps”

Plug The Energy Drains

Thomas Leonard, the “father” of life coaching, was one of the first people to understand and point out how tolerating petty annoyances was a huge drain on one’s energy. Here are steps you can take right now to begin dealing with the things you are tolerating.

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plug the energy drains

Thomas Leonard defined tolerations as those things we “put up with, accept, take on, and are dragged down by” . . . including “people’s behavior, situations, unmet needs, crossed boundaries, unfinished business, frustrations, problems, and even our own behavior.” [Coach U]

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“Up With Which I Will Not Put”

“When a memorandum passed round a certain Government department, one young pedant scribbled a postscript drawing attention to the fact that the sentence ended with a preposition, which caused the original writer to circulate another memorandum complaining that the anonymous postscript was ‘offensive impertinence, up with which I will not put.’ —The Strand Magazine.” From an article in The Wall Street Journal, 30 Sep 1942.

When You Don’t Deal With Annoyances

This witty quote – “offensive impertinence, up with which I will not put” – is frequently attributed to Sir Winston Churchill but there is no conclusive evidence that he actually wrote or said it. However, my purpose is not to conjecture who said it. Instead, I want to ask, what are the things up with which you are putting? You know, those little – and big – things that you are tolerating instead of dealing with.

“By ignoring the problem,” said Cheryl Richardson, author of Take Time For Your Life, “you raise your threshold for pain and make it easier to put up with more.” Soon, petty annoyances drop off your radar, minor annoyances become petty, and major annoyances become minor. Then your life falls apart or you get stuck in place because you aren’t dealing with your stuff.

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