Tag: Aligning actions with desires

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Turn Behaviors Into Habits – Even If You Lack Self-Control

Motivation is fickle. Willpower is unreliable. Don’t depend on motivation and willpower for changing behaviors. Make the behavior easy to do. Then repeat to make it a habit.

A Lack Of Self Control?

When Melissa[1] came to me for coaching, she identified several goals she wanted to work on. Her most important goal was to get her home office organized. This was the area that was most disruptive to her life and the one causing her the most stress.

Melissa shared that she could get one section of the place organized, say her desk top or the stacks of paper on her bookshelves, but within a few days, everything was chaos again. She wasted a lot of time looking for papers or other items she needed which caused undue stress.

“I guess I just lack the self-control to make myself do what I need to do,” she lamented. “I spend so much time and energy looking for articles I need, that it is impacting my life. It is hampering me from getting important tasks done yet I can’t keep myself motivated to keep things organized.”

Continue reading “Turn Behaviors Into Habits – Even If You Lack Self-Control”
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Living Your Values

Act according to your values, not your feelings. Determine your values and let your actions come from them. That’s how you live your values.

The Geese Who Waited

It was late fall and a flock of geese sat patiently waiting for the right time to leave for their flight south.

“Let’s go now!” said one impatient goose.

“Oh, no!” the others replied. “It doesn’t feel right. We’ll know when it’s the right time.”

A few days passed and the weather got colder.

“Let’s leave today before we freeze,” some of the more timid geese said.

“No, we’ll wait,” the others said. “It doesn’t feel right. We’ll know when it’s the right time.”

More days passed. Then the geese woke to a crisp day with a deep blue sky and bright sunshine. “Now,” they said to each other. “This is the perfect time to fly.”

Continue reading “Living Your Values”
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Fourteen Skills To Improve Your Time Management

“Until you value yourself, you will not value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.” ~ M. Scott Peck

The 4 Rules Of Time

From Brian Tracy, motivational speaker, author, and expert in human potential and achievement, we learn that there are 4 rules of time. [Tracy]

Time is perishable. You can’t “save” time, you can only decide how you use the time you have. Once a minute has passed, you cannot get it back.

Time is indispensable. Nothing can take it’s place. Everything we do, everything we accomplish — from eating breakfast, to crafting a sonnet, to earning a living, to building a relationship — is done in the context of time.

Time is irreplaceable. Just as you cannot save time, you cannot replace time that has past. You cannot undo that which was done, you cannot do that which was not done.

Time is essential for accomplishment. Every thing we do, every goal we accomplish, requires time. Continue reading “Fourteen Skills To Improve Your Time Management”

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Want to change a behavior? Change your environment.

“Many of our repeated behaviors are cued by everyday environments, even though people think they’re making choices all the time.” ~ Wendy Wood

You and I may think we’re in control of our actions, but research shows that nearly ½ of human behaviors occurs in the same location each day and is cued by the environment. [Duke Today] Recall Charles Duhigg’s “habit loop”, the 3-step process that causes habits to develop. [Duhigg] The habit loop consists of 1) cue, 2) routine, and 3) reward. Repetition of this loop over time causes a behavior (the routine) to become ingrained as habit.

According to Wendy Wood, formerly the James B. Duke professor of psychology and neuroscience at Duke and now at the University of Southern California, the cue is often our environment. Continue reading “Want to change a behavior? Change your environment.”

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Goals Are For Losers

Do you prefer winning once in a while or winning every day? That’s a difference between having a goal and having a system.

“. . . as far as I can tell, the people who use systems do better. The systems-driven people have found a way to look at the familiar in new and more useful ways. To put it bluntly, goals are for losers.” ~ Scott Adams

Goals vs. Systems

Goals are for losers? That’s a pretty odd statement for me to endorse as someone who spends his working time helping and encouraging people to set and achieve goals. However, after reading this in How To Fail At Almost Everything And Still Win Big by Scott Adams, best-selling author and the creator of the Dilbert comic strip, I have to say he has a good point. Continue reading “Goals Are For Losers”

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Willpower, Won’t Power, and Want Power

Have you ever set the intention to eat a more healthful diet? You pass up the doughnuts at work, eat a salad for lunch, snack on almonds or raw veggies in the afternoon . . . then at home, after work, you find yourself sitting on the 2nd shelf of the refrigerator, eating everything in sight. Or you decide to start an exercise program and to go to the gym directly after work. You load your gym bag in the car . . . but at the end of the day, you are so tired, you drive straight home – past the gym – and collapse in a heap in front of the TV. What happened to your willpower? Continue reading “Willpower, Won’t Power, and Want Power”

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SMART+Plus Goals

“The tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goals to reach.” —Benjamin E. Mays

You have likely heard of setting SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Time-bound) goals. In addition to those criteria, research in positive psychology and goal-setting has identified some other guidelines to help us create goals that will increase the positive effect of goal-setting. These are SMART+Plus goals.

According to www.statisticbrain.com, 45% of Americans “always” make New Year’s resolutions and another 17% “occasionally” make them. How many people successfully achieve their resolutions? Eight per-cent!

The statistics also show that “People who explicitly make resolutions are 10 times more likely to attain their goals than people who don’t explicitly make resolutions.” Continue reading “SMART+Plus Goals”

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Remembering 2017

“When you think about it and apply yourself, you are creating your life. When you don’t think about it and do whatever, you are creating your life.” ~ Holiday Mathis

The new year is often a time for beginning new things. We make resolutions and set goals. Sometimes we make other new starts . . . a new assignment, a new project, a new job. It can be exciting, and sometimes a little scary, to make a fresh start and the new year just naturally offers a place to start anew.

Before jumping headlong into the new year, it can be beneficial and freeing to reflect on the year we are finishing up. Continue reading “Remembering 2017”

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Have A Plan

“What is your dearest wish? What dreams do you have for the future? What do you want to be or do? Imagine your dream coming true. How wonderful would it be. How fulfilling.

“What holds you back from realizing your wish? What is it in you that stops you from really going for it?” ~ Gabriele Oettingen, Rethinking Positive Thinking

What holds you back?

As we near the end of another year, take a moment to reflect on this year that has nearly passed. Think back to January. Did you have big dreams? Make any resolutions? Set a BIG goal? Now that the year is almost over, how are you doing? Are you still on track? Continue reading “Have A Plan”

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Closing The Gaps

“Gaps in our lives drain the power needed to make a positive difference in the world.” ~ Hyrum Smith

“Inner peace is having serenity, balance and harmony in our lives achieved through the disciplined closing of gaps.” ~ Hyrum Smith [The 3 Gaps: Are You Making A Difference?]

The 3 Gaps

“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child . . .”[1 Corinthians 13:11a (New King James Version)] I believed many things as a child that I have since found to be either untrue, unfounded or unhelpful. I believed in Santa Claus much longer than most of my classmates. I believed that there was a physical place up above the clouds – Heaven – that was ruled over by God, a giant man in a great white cloak. I believed in fairies and elves and sometimes saw signs of them in the woods above my home. I believed that if I stepped on a crack I’d break my mother’s back and that if a frog peed on my hand, I’d get warts. You probably believed some of these yourself. Continue reading “Closing The Gaps”