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Rules Of Thumb

A rule of thumb is a type of heuristic that can help you perform desirable behaviors more consistently. Applying rules of thumb can also eliminate some mundane decisions, thereby conserving willpower.

Decision Making Short-Cuts

“Eat a fruit and a vegetable at every meal.”
“Pay yourself first.”
“Fill your gas tank when it reaches 1/2 full.”

These are “rules of thumb” – common sense guidelines that provide guidance in daily situations. They are short-cuts to decision making.

The phrase rule of thumb refers to “a principle with broad application that is not intended to be strictly accurate or reliable for every situation. It refers to an easily learned and easily applied procedure or standard, based on practical experience rather than theory.” [Wikipedia]

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Self-Full

Excelerated Self-Care™ — taking excellent care of yourself — is a self-full act. You must care for yourself if you are to be of service to others. You cannot give what you do not have.

Burnout!

Carol [*] felt like she was on the edge of a precipice where she might plunge over at any moment.

She was bone-tired. She climbed into bed exhausted every night. And she woke up exhausted every morning. It was all she could do to drag one foot, then the other, to plop on the floor.

On top of the chronic exhaustion, Carol never felt well. She had a dull, throbbing headache much of the time. Her mouth was dry, her skin was dry, her hair was lackluster and dull. Her stomach burned. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt really good.

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Glasses

Nothing is easier than self-deceit. For what each man wishes, that he also believes to be true. ~ Demosthenes

My Two Sets Of Glasses

I wear glasses. I’ve worn them since the sixth grade which is, well, quite a few years. Here is an interesting thing about wearing glasses. Once I put them on, I forget I’m wearing them. I mean, of course one can see better. But other than that, I don’t feel them on my face and I don’t have the sensation of looking through something. I usually don’t even think about having them on or remember that I’m looking through them at the world.

I also wear a different set of glasses . . . and so do you. These “glasses” are the beliefs you and I have, through which our view of the world is colored and shaped. And, just as I do with my physical glasses, we typically don’t realize we’re wearing our glasses of beliefs.

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Practicing Positivity

“Happiness” is much deeper than simply having pleasant feelings. Research by positive psychologists has identified exercises that increase positivity / happiness. Increased positivity, measured by subjective well-being, leads to flourishing, and a life of well-being, meaning, and purpose.

Dark Cloud Or Sunshine?

Negative Nellie and Positive Pollie (not their real names) are colleagues at a local business. Both are married. Each is raising a family. But there the similarities end.

Nellie’s daily commute is, as she describes it, “the drive from hell”. She is constantly getting cut off in traffic or stuck behind some moron who refuses to speed through a yellow light. Her horn and one specific finger get a workout every morning. By the time she gets to work, late as usual thanks to all those idiots out there, she is fuming.

At work, she carries a black cloud with her everywhere she goes. Co-workers avoid her; customers complain about her treatment of them. Nellie has been passed over twice for promotions and she is sure it’s because her boss has it out for her and besides, she works with a bunch of suck-ups who the boss is partial to.

At home, Nellis is furious about something a co-worker said. She yells at her kids for leaving a mess in the kitchen after school. Her husband helps with dinner then retreats to the TV. The kids rush up to their rooms to play video games and escape their mother’s wrath.

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The 4 Rules of Time

“The purpose of time management and getting more done in less time is to enable you to spend more face time with the people you care about and doing the things that give you the greatest amount of joy in life.” ~ Brian Tracy

From Brian Tracy, motivational speaker, author, and expert in human potential and achievement, we learn that there are 4 rules of time [Tracy]:

  1. Time is perishable.
  2. Time is indispensable.
  3. Time is irreplaceable.
  4. Time is essential for accomplishment.
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Practicing Accomplishment

Accomplishment is one of the elements of well-being theory. We sometimes pursue accomplishment for its own sake, as well as in conjunction with the other elements – positive emotion, engagement, positive relationships, and meaning. Using deliberate practice to develop talent and skill is one path to accomplishment.

“Can You Swim?”

A professor was being ferried across a large river. To pass the time, he struck up a conversation with the boatman.

The professor asked the boatman, “Can you write, my good man?”

“No,” answered the boatman, “I never learned to write.”

“Then you have lost one third of your life,” the professor said. “Can you read?”

“No, sir,” replied the boatman. “I can’t read.”

“Then you have lost half of your life.”

Suddenly, the ferry scraped across a large rock and it tore a hole in the bottom.

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Amplify Your Motivation

Motivation can be measured by this equation: “EXPECTANCY x VALUE / IMPULSIVENESS x DELAY”. Increasing either or both of the 1st two factors and / or decreasing either or both of the 2nd two, increases motivation. Motivation is higher for goals that are rewarding for the pursuit than for those where the reward comes at the completion of the goal.

A Failure At Goal Setting

Has this ever happened for you? You decide you want to make a change, so you set a goal. Perhaps you wanted to improve your diet and eat healthier. Or you wanted to lose weight. Maybe you wanted to pay down your debt and start a savings fund. Or you had some other goal that was important to you.

I have chosen those goals and others at different times. But, I’m sorry to say, things didn’t always work out the way I planned. Sometimes, I began working on a goal right away. However, in the back of my mind, I seriously doubted that I’d ever reach it.

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Why You Need Positive Relationships

Creating positive relationships and nurturing our ties to other people are fundamental practices for flourishing and enhanced well-being. Simple practices have a large impact on improving our relationships. When we do them, our own happiness increases.

Once a month, my wife, Rebecca, and I join with other musicians we’ve met over the years for an acoustic jam session. We sit in a circle and each person takes a turn performing a song, while the rest of us join in. Depending on the size of the group, we go around the circle two or three times, then break to share the food we’ve all brought. After the break, we go back to the circle and go around once or twice more.

The group varies from month to month — we may have 12 or more or we may have only 5 or 6. We sing and talk and laugh and share a meal. By the end of the evening, I have connected to people with whom I have developed positive relationships over the years. I always leave in a more relaxed, peaceful state than when I arrived, especially if I’ve had a hectic, stressful week. In a word, I am happier.

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Time To Be

To discover and understand your purpose and to organize your life around it requires time . . . time to think about how you’ll manifest your purpose and time to reflect on your performance. Organize your time and your calendar to explicitly schedule in these activities.

A Tale Of Two Workers

This is a tale of two workers. Call them Tom and Tim.

Tom works hard. He’s busy all day. Here is a typical day for Tom. When he wakes up, Tom immediately reaches for his phone to check for messages and e-mails. Before he gets out of bed, his mind is already teeming with thoughts of what he has to do today. He gets up and rushes through showering and dressing for work. He skips breakfast — who has time? He’ll grab a fast food sandwich and a cup of coffee on the way to the office.

Once at the office, Tom checks his e-mail again, then his calendar. He has several back-to-back meetings scheduled. He also has a major project that is due by the end of the week but he hasn’t had time to work on it yet. Maybe he can get to it today. And oh yeah, there was that upset customer that called yesterday . . . he still needs to call her back.

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Getting By Is Not Enough

Having reserves is a state of being. Having a reserve is a state of mind. Both are required to free us up to pursue the Excelerated Life™.

Building A Financial Foundation

Most Thursday mornings, you can find me at United Ministries, an agency in downtown Greenville dedicated to “serve, transform, and empower those in need toward achieving self-sufficiency.” [1] United Ministries offers a number of different services to assist the homeless, the unemployed, and those mired in poverty.

I volunteer in the Employment Readiness program. Those enrolled in this program are unemployed or under-employed. They go through a week-long training related to the job search and, after successfully completing the program, they work with an employment counselor.

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