Learning to stay focused on what matters most to you is focus with purpose. That’s when you begin to close the gap between what you say matters and how you actually live.
[Title Photo by Andrea Piacquadio]
Focus on Paul
Paul was excellent at focusing . . . on the wrong things. He gave undivided attention to trivial, unimportant things, like his sports betting pool or the weather for Saturday’s golf game.
But when it came to staying focused on his projects at work or being aware of his family’s needs, Paul struggled.
It wasn’t that he couldn’t focus – his excellent betting strategy and improving golf scores showed that he could. Paul’s issue was that he was choosing to focus on things that, in the long run, were meaningless. He needed to learn how to stay focused on what matters most.
Focus Is Foundational
Focus is a foundational principle for living a meaningful and productive life. Without it, we end up pulled in all directions, making a little progress in many areas but never gaining real traction in any one. With focus, we begin to align our time, energy, and attention with our true priorities.
What you choose to focus on literally shapes your life. For as Earl Nightingale said in The Strangest Secret: “We become what we think about.” Your thoughts direct your daily choices, your choices direct your attention, and that attention determines the quality of your experience. If you consume negativity or distraction, your results reflect that. But if you nourish your mind and spirit with what uplifts, challenges, and inspires you, you set the stage for a flourishing life.
Every choice you make about how you spend your time, energy, and money is a reflection of your focus. If you want to know what you’re focused on, look to where your resources are flowing. It doesn’t turn on one grand decision; it’s all the small, daily choices that either support your stated goals or distract you from them.
Action is essential for reaching your goals, but it must be action in the right direction. The quickest route is by taking focused action – aligning your actions with your true desires.
In Paul’s case, he wanted to have a closer relationship with his family and to have some successes at work. But his actions were not taking him in the direction he most wanted to go.
Why Is It Important to Stay Focused on What Matters Most?
Our goals and aspirations generally fall into two categories – what we say we want and what we really want, as shown by our actions. Paul wanted to spend more time with his family, and he wanted to be a more productive employee, but his focus and subsequent actions told a different story. He was allowing his focus to be hijacked by sports betting websites and by his three golf games per week. His attention and his real desires were out of alignment.
That alignment matters. The truth is visible in our actions. Often, what we say we want doesn’t match what we actually pursue. If we aren’t actively working toward something, we may not honestly want it, or at the very least, we’re not focused on it. The person who focuses on everything ultimately focuses on nothing. But when we concentrate our efforts, we make meaningful progress toward the things that matter most.
Lasting change comes from within, but you can prime the pump by acting as if you already are the person you want to become. “Often people attempt to live their lives backwards,” said Margaret Young, a popular entertainer from the 1920s. “They try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.”
Sharpen Your Focus
If you see a bit of yourself and your situation in Paul’s story, maybe it’s time to sharpen your focus, to shift from the unimportant (for you) things that are usurping your attention to the people and actions that will truly take you in the direction of your desires and goals.
To help you with that, consider these ideas.
1. To realign your focus, you first need to become aware of where your focus currently goes. Most of us unconsciously devote time and attention to things that don’t serve our deeper goals or values. Think about the past week.
- What occupied most of your mental energy?
- What thoughts or worries came up repeatedly?
- Where did you spend the most time and attention?
2. Time is a powerful mirror of focus. You can say you value health, relationships, or personal growth, but does your calendar reflect that? Look back at the past week and answer honestly:
- How many hours did I spend last week on what I say matters most?
- What time slots did I give to reactive tasks, screen time, or low-priority distractions?
Now look at the week ahead.
- What 1–2 blocks of time can I protect to focus on my top goal or value?
3. Focus involves more than just productivity. It also means giving your attention to what fulfills you and gives life meaning. Ask and answer these questions.
- What activities make me feel deeply engaged, satisfied, or energized?
- When was the last time I got “lost in the flow”? What was I doing?
- How often do I make space for those activities?
4. When you choose to focus, you start living intentionally. You act in harmony with your values, and the results, though not always instant, begin to reflect the life you want to live. Think of a time when you were intensely focused on something meaningful.
- What was the result?
- How did it feel to stay committed and consistent?
- What difference does choosing to focus make in how you feel about yourself?
5. Distractions and setbacks are inevitable. The key to lasting focus is to strengthen your ability to gently return your attention to what matters most, again and again.
- What typically pulls you off course?
- What thoughts do you have when you realize you’ve lost focus?
- How could you respond differently next time, with less judgment and more resolve?
How Paul Began to Focus on What Matters Most
When Paul began to realize that his relationships, his job, and his life were not giving him what he wanted, he started working with a life coach. With some help in seeing how he was not focused on the things that mattered to him, and some suggestions on how to change this, Paul began making real progress.
By following some simple exercises, Paul shifted his focus and his subsequent actions from the trivial to the important. He saw how he had been giving way too much time to hobbies, which left little time for the things that really mattered to him. He began living more intentionally, scheduling time to spend with his family and giving more focused attention to his work projects. And when he occasionally caught himself drifting back to his old habits, he had the tools to help him get his focus back on track.
Actions
- For the next two days, take a few minutes at the end of each day to jot down the top 3 things you focused on. At the end of the two days, review and ask:
Did your focus match your values and goals?
What patterns do you see? - Schedule one focused work session this week (30–90 minutes) dedicated to your BIG (Bold-Important-Gratifying) goal. Eliminate distractions, set a timer, and commit to being fully present.
- Plan a time for doing something that brings you deep satisfaction or joy. Treat it as a high-priority focus task. Notice how your energy and mindset shift afterward.
- Write down the consequence (result) you most want to experience in one area of your life (for example, relationships, health, purpose, creativity). Then list 1–3 actions that will lead you toward it and schedule time for at least one of those actions in the next 3 days.
- Choose a simple phrase to help you reset your focus, something like: “Back to work” or “This matters”. Whenever you catch yourself getting distracted, repeat the phrase silently and return your attention to the task at hand.
Focus on the Things that Matter
You have choices for where to direct your attention. Focusing on the things that matter to you is focusing with purpose. That’s when you begin to close the gap between what you say matters and how you actually live. Like Paul, you can learn to shift from drifting through distractions to living with direction.
Your goals, your values, and your deepest desires are all within reach. But they require your focus.
So here’s your next step: Pick one thing that truly matters to you. One project, one relationship, one personal priority. Give it 30 minutes of your undivided attention this week. No multitasking. No distractions. Just you, focused on what matters most.
For that’s how the Excelerated Life™ begins, not by doing more things, but by doing the right things through greater clarity of focus. Start today. Reclaim your focus. Live on purpose. It’s another step on the path to embracing your Excelerated Life™!
What area of your life could be helped by having clearer focus?
What is one step you could do right now to improve your focus in that area?
Share your experience by leaving a comment below.
Excelerated Focus™ — aligning your actions with your true desires — is one practice for creating your Excelerated Life™, a life of flourishing and well-being, and a life of meaning, purpose, and service.
Read more about the Excelerated Life™.
Resources:
Nightingale, Earl. “Lead The Field.” PDFDrive. Asaha Inc., . Web. Date July 17, 2020. PDF file.
https://www.pdfdrive.com/lead-the-field-e186040772.html
This blog post includes research information provided by ChatGPT, an AI language model developed by OpenAI. The content was generated with AI assistance and is intended to provide information and guidance. Please note that the suggestions are not official statements from OpenAI. To learn more about ChatGPT and its capabilities, visit the OpenAI website.