life management Archives - Page 6 of 8

May 14, 2020October 1, 2020

The Sand In The Oyster

Change your perspective and the way you think about and deal with irritations and you can transform your behavior from reacting in anger and frustration to responding mindfully with love. Choose your response to irritations with care.

“God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons we could not learn in any other way. The way we learn those lessons is not to deny the feelings but to find the meanings underlying them.” ~ Stanley Lindquist

Making Pearls

Have you ever admired an exquisite pearl necklace, each lustrous pearl perfect in shape and shimmering iridescence? Do you know how pearls are made? Natural pearls are created when an irritant, a grain of sand or bit of stone, gets inside the shell of a mollusk. The mollusk reacts to the irritant by coating it with a substance to reduce the irritation.

Over time, as layer upon layer is added, a pearl is formed. The source of a natural pearl is irritation. The mollusk responds to the irritation by creating something of beauty and value.

April 2, 2020October 8, 2020

Turn Behaviors Into Habits – Even If You Lack Self-Control

Motivation is fickle. Willpower is unreliable. Don’t depend on motivation and willpower for changing behaviors. Make the behavior easy to do. Then repeat to make it a habit.

A Lack Of Self Control?

When Melissa[1] came to me for coaching, she identified several goals she wanted to work on. Her most important goal was to get her home office organized. This was the area that was most disruptive to her life and the one causing her the most stress.

Melissa shared that she could get one section of the place organized, say her desk top or the stacks of paper on her bookshelves, but within a few days, everything was chaos again. She wasted a lot of time looking for papers or other items she needed which caused undue stress.

“I guess I just lack the self-control to make myself do what I need to do,” she lamented. “I spend so much time and energy looking for articles I need, that it is impacting my life. It is hampering me from getting important tasks done yet I can’t keep myself motivated to keep things organized.”

March 5, 2020May 9, 2023

To Build High, Go Deep

To build an Excelerated Life of self-actualizing, to develop and increase your potential, you must start with a deep, firm, rock-solid foundation. You can begin to strengthen your foundation by raising your standards

“I’ve upped my standards. Now, up yours.” ~ Pat Paulsen

A Wise Man And A Foolish Man

” . . . a wise man . . . built his house on rock. It rained hard, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house. But it did not fall because it was built on rock.

. . . a foolish man . . . built his house on sand. It rained hard, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house. And it fell with a loud crash.” ~ Matthew 7:24 – 27 (ERV)

February 27, 2020October 13, 2020

Bound To The Past

Leftovers from yesterday, last week, last month or last year clog up your space and keep you from living in the present moment. Clear up the open loops from past projects and you are better able to deal with your current projects and activities. Live in the present moment, not bound to the past by items cluttering your space and your life.

Holdovers From The Past

Here is a thought that occurred to me the other day as I contemplated the stacks of papers, files, books, and other detritus covering my desk and work space. This clutter, these holdovers from the past, keep me from living fully in the present.

The unfiled papers, the books that haven’t been put away, and all the other clutter and debris keep me bound to the past and make it difficult to function in the present moment. As long as those stacks are there, I have open loops [1] — unfinished business. It is difficult to remain in the present moment, in the Now, with so many open loops.

November 28, 2019October 24, 2020

I Changed My Mind

Sometimes the hardest thing to do, and the thing that can make a huge difference in your life, is to say “I changed my mind.”

“It is amazing how many uncomfortable situations people get into and stay in because they are unwilling or afraid to admit that they’ve changed their minds.” ~ Brian Tracy

Do you know one of the main reasons people lose money in the stock market? They don’t have an exit strategy. They don’t know when to cut their losses and get out of a bad investment. Or, they think that if they just hang in there, the stock will rebound and they’ll make their money back. It seems to go against our nature to face up to a loss or a situation that is going badly and to make a change. Sometimes, one of the best things you can say is “I changed my mind.”

We stay in circumstances that are uncomfortable, unprofitable, unfulfilling, sometimes even dangerous, rather than taking the steps to make a change and improve the situation. We find it too hard to say “I changed my mind.”

October 31, 2019October 29, 2020

Choose Acceptance

Denying pain, hurt or disappointment brings suffering. Accepting reality is a necessary step toward change, if change is possible. To choose acceptance is to acknowledge that some things cannot be changed and to learn to be at peace about that.

A Missed Opportunity

On most Wednesdays around 11:00 AM, you can find my wife, Rebecca, and me doing our weekly grocery shopping at our local store. (Taking advantage of the senior discount, of course.) However, recently we had an unusual experience.

When we arrived at our usual entrance to the store’s parking area, we found that it was blocked by a police car. We drove towards the next entrance but we observed that all the entrances to the parking area were blocked by police.

We followed a couple of cars toward the back of the store and discovered that a back entrance was open and unguarded. So all three cars went in that way.

October 17, 2019October 29, 2020

The Willpower Question

Willpower is like a muscle, according to some research, and gets depleted with use over time. Newer research has not replicated this finding, however. Other researchers believe willpower may get depleted because we think it will be. This is at the heart of the willpower question.

Cookies And Radishes

It was a cruel and heartless experiment . . . at least for the hungry college students taking part. They were told not to eat anything for several hours prior to the experiment so they were hungry when they arrived at the lab.

The students were divided into three groups. Group 1 was given a plate of warm, freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies. And a plate of radishes. They were told they could have all the radishes they wanted, but they were not to touch the cookies.

Group 2 was given a plate of cookies and a plate of radishes and told they could eat all they wanted from either (or both) plates.

Group 3 was given nothing.

September 26, 2019October 29, 2020

Rules Of Thumb

A rule of thumb is a type of heuristic that can help you perform desirable behaviors more consistently. Applying rules of thumb can also eliminate some mundane decisions, thereby conserving willpower.

Decision Making Short-Cuts

“Eat a fruit and a vegetable at every meal.”
“Pay yourself first.”
“Fill your gas tank when it reaches 1/2 full.”

These are “rules of thumb” – common sense guidelines that provide guidance in daily situations. They are short-cuts to decision making.

The phrase rule of thumb refers to “a principle with broad application that is not intended to be strictly accurate or reliable for every situation. It refers to an easily learned and easily applied procedure or standard, based on practical experience rather than theory.” [Wikipedia]

September 19, 2019May 9, 2023

Self-Full

Excelerated Self-Care™ — taking excellent care of yourself — is a self-full act. You must care for yourself if you are to be of service to others. You cannot give what you do not have.

Burnout!

Carol [*] felt like she was on the edge of a precipice where she might plunge over at any moment.

She was bone-tired. She climbed into bed exhausted every night. And she woke up exhausted every morning. It was all she could do to drag one foot, then the other, to plop on the floor.

On top of the chronic exhaustion, Carol never felt well. She had a dull, throbbing headache much of the time. Her mouth was dry, her skin was dry, her hair was lackluster and dull. Her stomach burned. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt really good.

September 5, 2019October 30, 2020

Glasses

Nothing is easier than self-deceit. For what each man wishes, that he also believes to be true. ~ Demosthenes

My Two Sets Of Glasses

I wear glasses. I’ve worn them since the sixth grade which is, well, quite a few years. Here is an interesting thing about wearing glasses. Once I put them on, I forget I’m wearing them. I mean, of course one can see better. But other than that, I don’t feel them on my face and I don’t have the sensation of looking through something. I usually don’t even think about having them on or remember that I’m looking through them at the world.

I also wear a different set of glasses . . . and so do you. These “glasses” are the beliefs you and I have, through which our view of the world is colored and shaped. And, just as I do with my physical glasses, we typically don’t realize we’re wearing our glasses of beliefs.