Category: Foundation

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Build Your Positivity

Positive emotions have a long-lasting effect on your psychological well-being and lead to flourishing – the ability to thrive and grow. Not only do they feel good in the moment, but they are worth cultivating as a way toward improved well-being.

“Positivity opens us. The first core truth about positive emotions is that they open our hearts and our minds, making us more receptive and more creative.

“Positivity transforms us for the better. This is the second core truth about positive emotions. By opening our hearts and minds, positive emotions allow us to discover and build new skills, new ties, new knowledge, and new ways of being.” [Fredrickson 2009]

Broaden and Build

Barbara Fredrickson was one of the first Positive Psychologists I encountered. Martin Seligman referenced her work a number of times in Authentic Happiness and described the profound impact she had on his thinking about positive emotion. She was the first recipient of the $100,000 Templeton Positive Psychology Prize, awarded for the best work in Positive Psychology by a scientist under 40. [Seligman] Based on Seligman’s reference, I immediately purchased and read Barbara Fredrickson’s book, Positivity. It was an excellent introduction for me to the concept of building the skills that help you flourish.

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Tapping The Power Of Acceptance

A big part of healing and recovery is accepting what has taken place. Acceptance is an important first step for dealing with adversity and moving forward with your life.

A Fable About Acceptance

A raven, black as midnight, spied a Swan and envied her feathers because they were white as pure snow. He decided that if he lived as the Swan did, his feathers would become white.

So the Raven left his home in the woods and flew away to the lake where the Swan lived. He swam and dived in the water and ate the water plants, just like the Swan.

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Lay A Solid Foundation

“You can’t build a great building on a weak foundation.” ~ Gordon B. Hinckley The first step in creating your Excelerated Life is to lay a solid foundation by identifying and living from your Valid Values.

The Parable Of Two House Builders

Two men aspired to build houses for themselves.

The first man, who was wise, selected a firm foundation of rock and built his house on this solid foundation. The second man, not so wise, decided it was too difficult to find a rock base for his house, so he built it on the sandy soil where he stood.

Both houses rose tall and stately while the sun shone and there were no troubles or bad weather. But one day, trouble came. It began to rain hard. Flood waters rose. The winds blew and beat against the two houses.

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Raise Your Standards

Standards are the behaviors you hold yourself to. As you raise your standards, your health, your work, your relationships, and your self-esteem improve.

“Huskey Time”

When I was a young man, I had a bad habit . . . well, I had a number of bad habits, but right now I want to focus on this one: I was always late.

Rarely did I pay attention to the exact time. I didn’t wear a watch and this was well before the ubiquitous cell phone let me know the time at a glance. I was typically 10 to 15 minutes late for appointments, work, classes, etc., etc.

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Live From Your Strengths

“The good life consists in deriving happiness by using your signature strengths every day in the main realms of living. The meaningful life adds one more component: using these same strengths to forward knowledge, power or goodness.” ~ Martin Seligman

Stuck!

When Shannon (*) and I met for our first coaching session, she was frustrated, stuck in place and spinning her wheels. When she was in college, she planned for a career with a non-profit organization, preferably one that worked with children. Now in the work force, Shannon worked as a clerk in a retail store. “I’m not doing the job I worked toward for years,” she told me. “I am doing something I don’t enjoy just to pay the bills. I’m just going through the motions and I am not making any real difference. I want to explore what I need to do to maybe find a different job.” Continue reading “Live From Your Strengths”

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Giving Thanks

 

“You simply will not be the same person two months from now after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life. And you will have set in motion an ancient spiritual law: the more you have and are grateful for, the more will be given you.” ~ Sarah Ban Breathnach

Have An Attitude Of Gratitude

At this time of year, our thoughts naturally turn to Thanksgiving and thanks giving. That is good. However, the act of being grateful, of giving thanks, is too important to relegate to only one day each year. Indeed, gratitude – being thankful – is one of the keys to the Excelerated Life.

The importance of being grateful has been recognized and taught by many people, from the apostle Paul to New Thought teachers to positive psychologists. Continue reading “Giving Thanks”

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When Things Go Right: The Power Of Positive Responses

“People we care about often tell us about . . . good things that happen to them. How we respond can either build the relationship or undermine it.” ~ Martin Seligman

4 Friends React To Good News

Sally was excited to meet her friends for dinner after work. She had received a promotion that day, for which she had worked and prepared a long time. Over dinner, she excitedly shared her good news about her big promotion. Let’s listen in to hear how her friends responded.

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After Acceptance

“It is certainly true that, when you accept your resentment, moodiness, anger, and so on, you are no longer forced to act them out blindly, and you are less likely to project them onto others. But I wonder if you are not deceiving yourself. When you have been practicing acceptance for a while, as you have, there comes a point when you need to go on to the next stage, where those negative emotions are not created anymore. If you don’t, your ‘acceptance’ just becomes a mental label that allows your ego to continue to indulge in unhappiness and so strengthen your separation from other people, your surroundings, your here and now.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

Welcome to . . . Holland?!?

When my younger daughter was 6, she had a stroke. At age eight, while the doctors were still trying to decide what was wrong, she had another one, bigger and badder, that left her with a number of deficits to overcome. She had to relearn how to walk, how to talk, and how to use her left hand instead of her right. As you can imagine, this was a devastating blow to her and to our family. Continue reading “After Acceptance”

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Get Unstuck!

“Status quo, you know, is Latin for ‘the mess we’re in’.” ~ Ronald Reagan

The Way Things Were

Do you know where the term “status quo” comes from? It’s from the Latin phrase, “status quo ante bellum”, or “the state before the war”. This refers to the borders, property boundaries, and other evidence of ownership used to reinstate land when a nation was defeated in war. At times, we can feel defeated, overwhelmed by too much to do or entrenched in negative habits and thought patterns, beaten down by indecision or faced with changes that we feel have been thrust on us. Continue reading “Get Unstuck!”

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Step Out Of The Pit

“The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” ~ Marcus Aurelius

Each of us has Teachers that come into our lives at various times. Each of these Teachers brings an important lesson. Until you learn the lesson, that Teacher comes back again and again. Until you learn the lesson, you can’t move on.

The Farmer and the Donkey

I once heard a story about an old donkey who had outlived it’s usefulness. It was too old to work any more. The farmer who owned the donkey thought about having it put down, but just couldn’t bring himself to do so. However, one day the donkey fell into a deep pit and couldn’t get out. “Well,” thought the farmer, “this is the end. I’ll just fill in the pit with dirt and bury this poor old donkey.” Continue reading “Step Out Of The Pit”