Don’t Argue With Reality

Sometimes, as the saying goes, “bad things happen to good people”. Sometimes bad things happen to bad people, too. And sometimes, good things happen to good and bad people. The reality is, things happen to people – good or bad are mostly judgment calls. Accepting where you are in life means you don’t argue with reality. It’s the first step to change what you can.

TheExceleratedLife.com
Continue reading “Don’t Argue With Reality”

How To Discover Your Valid Values – And Why

Consciously choosing the values you want to shape your life and then taking steps to base your actions on your values leads to joy, contentment, and feelings of well-being.

your valid values

Facing A Choice

It was date night for Martha and her husband and she had been looking forward to it all week; an evening when they could pay attention to each other and re-connect. But at 4:00 PM, her boss came to her with a problem that needed her attention. If she resolved this issue, it would be a feather in her cap and add to her chances for a promotion.

David has the opportunity to take an online class, paid for by his company, that would improve a key skill. But the class is every Saturday morning for two months – the same time he usually reserves for his two young children.

Allen got a substantial raise. He is having a difficult time choosing between increasing his contribution to his retirement account or buying a new car he’s had his eye on for a while.

We are faced with decisions every day. And occasionally they are hard ones to make. It helps to consider our values when we make the hard choices. Thus it is useful to know what our values are.

Continue reading “How To Discover Your Valid Values – And Why”

Drop The Burden Of Tolerations

Tolerating things, people, situations, and environments holds you back from making changes to improve your life. Eliminating tolerations clears the way to creating your Excelerated Life™.

An Experiment

What was wrong with me? Although I was constantly busy, I couldn’t get anything accomplished. I bounced from one task to another, but there was always something that prevented me from finishing what I wanted to do.

So I decided to do an experiment. I had been reading Thomas Leonard’s book on personal coaching, The 28 Laws Of Attraction, and one of the chapters, “Step 15: Tolerate Nothing”, had caught my attention. Tolerations, Leonard said, are “things that bug us, sap our energy, and could be eliminated!” [Leonard]

And that, I thought, pretty much summed up what I was dealing with. Perhaps it was time to start eliminating tolerations.

Continue reading “Drop The Burden Of Tolerations”

A Blessing In The Lesson

True acceptance brings perspective and power. Power to make a change. Or the power to face a situation you cannot change. And perspective to know which it is.

“What you resist, persists.” ~ Carl Jung

The First Step

A daughter has a stroke and her life changes forever. A loved one is diagnosed with cancer. A son is stricken with a debilitating disease and becomes disabled. A spouse has become disoriented by dementia and has to be placed in long-term care. A child commits suicide.

How does one cope with difficult life changes such as these? How do you begin to put the pieces of your life back together? One of the first steps is acceptance.

Continue reading “A Blessing In The Lesson”

Bound To The Past

Leftovers from yesterday, last week, last month or last year clog up your space and keep you from living in the present moment. Clear up the open loops from past projects and you are better able to deal with your current projects and activities. Live in the present moment, not bound to the past by items cluttering your space and your life.

Holdovers From The Past

Here is a thought that occurred to me the other day as I contemplated the stacks of papers, files, books, and other detritus covering my desk and work space. This clutter, these holdovers from the past, keep me from living fully in the present.

The unfiled papers, the books that haven’t been put away, and all the other clutter and debris keep me bound to the past and make it difficult to function in the present moment. As long as those stacks are there, I have open loops [1] — unfinished business. It is difficult to remain in the present moment, in the Now, with so many open loops.

Continue reading “Bound To The Past”

Living Your Values

Act according to your values, not your feelings. Determine your values and let your actions come from them. That’s how you live your values.

The Geese Who Waited

It was late fall and a flock of geese sat patiently waiting for the right time to leave for their flight south.

“Let’s go now!” said one impatient goose.

“Oh, no!” the others replied. “It doesn’t feel right. We’ll know when it’s the right time.”

A few days passed and the weather got colder.

“Let’s leave today before we freeze,” some of the more timid geese said.

“No, we’ll wait,” the others said. “It doesn’t feel right. We’ll know when it’s the right time.”

More days passed. Then the geese woke to a crisp day with a deep blue sky and bright sunshine. “Now,” they said to each other. “This is the perfect time to fly.”

Continue reading “Living Your Values”

Clear Up Annoyances To Progress Toward Your Goals

Small annoyances may have an effect on goal progress. Dealing with things we have been tolerating could improve our ability to make progress toward our goals by improving our ratio of positive to negative experiences.

How Jack Got A Promotion

Jack was unhappy at his job. His desk was a disorganized mess. He felt his skills were underutilized. His cubicle neighbor played loud music on her computer, which made it difficult for him to concentrate. His boss was constantly looking in on Jack to check the progress on his latest assignments. He wanted more responsibility and more pay but he wasn’t getting the recognition he deserved for his work. Jack’s goal was to get a job where he could contribute more – and get paid more – but months had passed and he had made little progress in his job search.

Continue reading “Clear Up Annoyances To Progress Toward Your Goals”

Lay A Solid Foundation

“You can’t build a great building on a weak foundation.” ~ Gordon B. Hinckley The first step in creating your Excelerated Life is to lay a solid foundation by identifying and living from your Valid Values.

The Parable Of Two House Builders

Two men aspired to build houses for themselves.

The first man, who was wise, selected a firm foundation of rock and built his house on this solid foundation. The second man, not so wise, decided it was too difficult to find a rock base for his house, so he built it on the sandy soil where he stood.

Both houses rose tall and stately while the sun shone and there were no troubles or bad weather. But one day, trouble came. It began to rain hard. Flood waters rose. The winds blew and beat against the two houses.

Continue reading “Lay A Solid Foundation”

Make a Commitment

“The most meaningful thing you can do is make a promise to yourself and keep it. You start to feel like you can trust yourself and rely on yourself.” ~ Phil Stutz

The path to Lifetime growth.

Do you want to build your self-discipline? Do you want to build trust in yourself and your ability to do what you say you will do? Do you want to practice the virtue of Integrity?  These are valuable steps on the path to lifetime growth.

One way to practice these steps is to instill a daily habit. Make it something that is good for you and makes you feel good about yourself. And once you start, do it every day until it becomes second nature. Discipline improves with practice. Continue reading “Make a Commitment”

“Up With Which I Will Not Put”

“When a memorandum passed round a certain Government department, one young pedant scribbled a postscript drawing attention to the fact that the sentence ended with a preposition, which caused the original writer to circulate another memorandum complaining that the anonymous postscript was ‘offensive impertinence, up with which I will not put.’ —The Strand Magazine.” From an article in The Wall Street Journal, 30 Sep 1942.

When You Don’t Deal With Annoyances

This witty quote – “offensive impertinence, up with which I will not put” – is frequently attributed to Sir Winston Churchill but there is no conclusive evidence that he actually wrote or said it. However, my purpose is not to conjecture who said it. Instead, I want to ask, what are the things up with which you are putting? You know, those little – and big – things that you are tolerating instead of dealing with.

“By ignoring the problem,” said Cheryl Richardson, author of Take Time For Your Life, “you raise your threshold for pain and make it easier to put up with more.” Soon, petty annoyances drop off your radar, minor annoyances become petty, and major annoyances become minor. Then your life falls apart or you get stuck in place because you aren’t dealing with your stuff.

Continue reading ““Up With Which I Will Not Put””