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“Hate Well”: How To Deal With, Not Put Up With, Tolerations

“Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good.” [Romans 12:0 (NLT)]

What do you hate?

What do you hate? We are conditioned to find this question a little uncomfortable. We are generally taught that we shouldn’t hate anyone or anything; that it is somehow bad or anti-social. But before you answer the question, consider this point of view from Dr. Henry Cloud.

“What would you think, for example, about a person who said that he hates the following things: arrogance, lying, innocent people being hurt, harmful schemes, evil practices, telling lies about others, and things that stir up dissension among people? Continue reading ““Hate Well”: How To Deal With, Not Put Up With, Tolerations”

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Fourteen Skills To Improve Your Time Management

“Until you value yourself, you will not value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.” ~ M. Scott Peck

The 4 Rules Of Time

From Brian Tracy, motivational speaker, author, and expert in human potential and achievement, we learn that there are 4 rules of time. [Tracy]

Time is perishable. You can’t “save” time, you can only decide how you use the time you have. Once a minute has passed, you cannot get it back.

Time is indispensable. Nothing can take it’s place. Everything we do, everything we accomplish — from eating breakfast, to crafting a sonnet, to earning a living, to building a relationship — is done in the context of time.

Time is irreplaceable. Just as you cannot save time, you cannot replace time that has past. You cannot undo that which was done, you cannot do that which was not done.

Time is essential for accomplishment. Every thing we do, every goal we accomplish, requires time. Continue reading “Fourteen Skills To Improve Your Time Management”

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Enemy Of The Best

“The first step in crafting the life you want is to get rid of everything you don’t.” ~ Joshua Becker

“I had seen successful people let go of very good things that were not the best things to them.” ~ Dr. Henry Cloud

Don’t let the Good crowd out the Best.

In the book 9 Things You Simply Must Do To Succeed In Love And Life, Dr. Henry Cloud identifies one of the 9 Things as “pull the tooth”. If you’ve ever had a toothache, you know that temporary measures to hide or mask the pain do not work for long. You may be able to forget about it for a short time, but the pain always returns. Until you deal with the source of the pain, the problem keeps coming back. Continue reading “Enemy Of The Best”

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Capacities Clamoring To Be Used

“The muscular person likes to use his muscles, indeed, has to use them in order to self-actualize, and to achieve the subjective feeling of harmonious, uninhibited, satisfying functioning which is so important an aspect of psychological health. People with intelligence must use their intelligence, people with eyes must use their eyes, people with the capacity to love have the impulse to love and the need to love in order to feel healthy. Capacities clamor to be used, and cease their clamor only when they are used sufficiently.” ~ Abraham Maslow  Toward a Psychology of Being

Capacities clamor to be used.

I read this quote from Abraham Maslow’s book in a recent +1 note from Brian Johnson. The capacities that “clamor to be used” remind me of the VIA Character strengths.

Continue reading “Capacities Clamoring To Be Used”

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Move!

“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.” ~ Jim Rohn

Choose to be active.

Researchers tell us that there are certain actions we can take to increase feelings of happiness and well-being. One way you can increase positive affect is to take care of your body by engaging in physical activity. Continue reading “Move!”

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Make a Commitment

“The most meaningful thing you can do is make a promise to yourself and keep it. You start to feel like you can trust yourself and rely on yourself.” ~ Phil Stutz

The path to Lifetime growth.

Do you want to build your self-discipline? Do you want to build trust in yourself and your ability to do what you say you will do? Do you want to practice the virtue of Integrity?  These are valuable steps on the path to lifetime growth.

One way to practice these steps is to instill a daily habit. Make it something that is good for you and makes you feel good about yourself. And once you start, do it every day until it becomes second nature. Discipline improves with practice. Continue reading “Make a Commitment”

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Want to change a behavior? Change your environment.

“Many of our repeated behaviors are cued by everyday environments, even though people think they’re making choices all the time.” ~ Wendy Wood

You and I may think we’re in control of our actions, but research shows that nearly ½ of human behaviors occurs in the same location each day and is cued by the environment. [Duke Today] Recall Charles Duhigg’s “habit loop”, the 3-step process that causes habits to develop. [Duhigg] The habit loop consists of 1) cue, 2) routine, and 3) reward. Repetition of this loop over time causes a behavior (the routine) to become ingrained as habit.

According to Wendy Wood, formerly the James B. Duke professor of psychology and neuroscience at Duke and now at the University of Southern California, the cue is often our environment. Continue reading “Want to change a behavior? Change your environment.”

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Gratification

Want to go for a double win? Find activities that are both pleasurable AND gratifying.

Research from the field of positive psychology indicates that there are certain actions we can take to increase feelings of happiness and well-being. Happiness in the present moment is based on two distinct concepts: pleasures and gratifications. Continue reading “Gratification”

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Small Simple Daily Disciplines

Small, simple daily disciplines practiced each day become habits while also building up your willpower. That ‘s a huge benefit in a tiny package!

Self-regulation (or willpower) is one of the most important strengths to develop. [Miller 91] In fact, developing other strengths often depends on our practicing them when we don’t really want to. In other words, by using willpower. Continue reading “Small Simple Daily Disciplines”

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Magic Thinking

Forget magic. Real accomplishments require hard work.

“What’s missing, what we’re really looking for, is magic. Without realizing it, we want that momentary pleasure or excitement we feel to be a passageway into a whole new world—a world of ease. Unfortunately, it’s a world that doesn’t exist. Reality requires us to face three things: pain, uncertainty, and the need for constant work. No one, no matter how famous or rich, is exempt from these requirements.” ~ Dr. Phil Stutz, “Addiction and Magical Thinking”

Hard work is required.

Are you prepared to do the work required to succeed in reaching your BIG goals? Make no mistake – the Excelerated life is not achieved without effort. Sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes it’s boring. Many times, you’ll want to do something else. There will be times when you can’t tell that you are making any progress at all Continue reading “Magic Thinking”